With One Arm Stretch

What If

2011-08-10T13:32:00.000-07:00

Once a few moments in your life, when you're bored, or when you're lost or even when you're regret the choices you made, what if comes to your mind. What if?

What if I insists on my dream?

What if I married to her?

What if I dare to make the first move on her?

What if I didn't lost her?

Yes, once a few moments in our life, we often asked ourselves, what if.

What if my mum is still alive?

I still will be loved. When I come back home, there's someone in the house, waiting for me to hear how my days are. There is a reason to take time and call home and have a heartfelt chat. There is someone who always stand by yourself, guiding you to the ray of light. There is someone who is going to shout at me and nagging me for being so lazy. My grades will be better. I'll be more happier. She'll be proud of me as I finally make it to the top. She'll be happier, as her worries for her youngest son ceased. And there is communication within the family. A happy family that we all ever wanted.

Sadly, all of us have to wake up from a deep moment of what if. We all knew it isn't going to be real. And we took a long sigh, wishing things could be different. Could be better. But no one knows the alternate version of your life, will be better.

Stranded in India ( Act 1 of the Series )

2011-08-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

Let's cut all the chase. We went to LCCT, board on a plane, and sat in it for 5 hours and voila! there goes!

The first thing we saw, very welcoming.

And then this. Awesome.

And so, we get our passport chopped. Get our luggage and fucking dash out from the airport. The first thing I bought, Coke. And it tastes like Malaysia ones. Sugar alerts!

We kinda lost of finding a metro but we still get it together and find our way. But once we got from the airport, you can feel the heat, literally. Like a huge hot waves just bestowed on you.

We bought the tickets, they gave us the token thing instead of card and we are not allowed to take pictures either. The airport metro ( KLIA counterpart ) is much better than we thought. It is clean, air-conded and nice. We was so blow away by the advancement of the metro, is even better than ours. But hell, we didn't know what we are facing later on.

Don't miss LC 'Vogue'

So we got out from the metro to the local metro line. And we had our first culture shock. First, after buying your tickets, you have to line up to get checked by security before you move in into the metro and the queue is so long and is hot, no air conditioning , nothing. And we have to wait in line with our heavy backpack, trust me, it isn't pleasant.

And as soon we passed the security, BANG, there is like tons of people waiting for the metro, I mean, TONS. In order to get in, we have to squish, we have to push just to get in it. Certainly not a good experience. We switched the station and got out from our metro station, BANG, it is so dark in there. Like, no lamps, just a ray of light coming out from a library? I don't know. We know is unsafe to ask strangers over there so we saw a guard which turns out he's not, directions to our hostel. He's one of the blessing. He's not a local and he is a bit drunk and he can't help much but he did called cycle rickshaw for us, and even willing to pay for us ( we don't have small change ). He said is unsafe for us to walk around as there is a lot of people that might cheat us, is better we get going through a rickshaw. But I got some small change when I bought that coke, so we hop on and get going.

BANG. The streets is so dark, there is like rubbish everywhere and there is like people sleeping on the streets. I mean, that is something you don't see everyday in Malaysia. I clenched my hand tightly over the rickshaw. Yes, we were scared, hopeless and freaked out. And then, the rickshaw stopped, pointing us to a small alley. It was pretty dark back then, so we werem't sure what it is, we are like where are we? what the fuck. The cycle rickshaw man kept telling us go in but we weren't convinced, there is this man coming up asking us to go in and offered Rs 400 for help, but we said is fine and get together and march in. Thank god we saw the sign. We went in, met a couple from England. There is actually two hostels named Smyle Inn, but we booked wrongly and there is no room left, so we forced to stay in My Inn. Rs 2ooo for two rooms per night. Since it was late and we need a place to crush in, we took the offer and stayed there.

You can see how fucked up we are.

As LC said "Mak kau Cina!"

Why India? ( Prologue of the Series )

2011-08-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

I guess I should put a note on my wonderful adventure journey to the most interesting places on earth, INDIA! Before I began this amazing 18 days of mine, I should tell you how people reacted when they heard our 'not-so-good-news'.

People A : "GO INDIA AH? WHY? SO NOT SAFE!! 18 DAYS SUMMORE!? INDIA WHERE GOT GOOD OH. SO DANGEROUS. DON'T WANT LAR."

Aunty B : "EH, GO TAIWAN BETTER. INDIA VERY UNDEVELOPED YOU KNOW."

And so many opinions ( negative thoughts ) about India. But, they are wrong. In fact, India is such a wonderful place that I would to go there again.

It all started when we're hanging in McDonalds, bollocking how boring our gap year is and we didn't fulfill our promises we made back in Form Six, so the idea of going backpacking surfaced. First, we voiced out possible location. Bali and Thailand was put on the table ( We do have money issues ), but since we wanted an adventure, India surfaced. It is one of the spiritual places in the entire world ( Hinduism and Buddhism begins in here, maybe Islam too ), and it is well, sad to put it, not so developed, why not?

The plan was put forward. The original team consists of LC, WC, Ivan and me, since we're the ones who's been hanging around. We spread the news to others and set up a page in Facebook under the name Backpacking to India. Everything is finalised. The team consists of The Leader - Long Choy, The Camera Man - Benjamin, The Financial Advisor - ST, The Big Hearted Afro - Ivan and me, pretty much The Voice and The Joker - Wen Chiang.

Oh well, things isn't going the smooth you see. WC cannot join in the fun due to personal reasons and so we have to left him back in Malaysia which prompted us to do the picture of the decade "Wish You Were Here' which I'll posting on the relevant post. So, five boys head on east? and fly to the heart of culture, India.

Dreams

2011-08-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

Dreams. The sole essential part of human lives.

Every walking souls has a dream. Dream to be big, dream to be famous, dream to be love. Dreams is the part that keep us hold together, breath a little more, stay health, to see our dreams become reality.

For some, dreams come true. And they couldn't be happier. But for others, dreams is just dreams, it only comes when the earth is basked with moonlight and a good night sleep. Some people don't aware that dreams are pulling the trigger of their life. If make a decision to be one step closer to your dream, your dream shaped your personality, your point of views and even your heart.

One should know that dream and reality exist as a parallel line. For those who are lucky, those lines, will be intertwine. But for most of us, it doesn't.

If dreams is so little that can be obtained, it wasn't a dream, it is a task. Dream is something you thought you need a little push, a little luck, a little hard work to be there.

5 Years Later

2011-08-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

5 years later,

Can you imagine that? What are you going to end up with? Who you are together with? Who's left you and what you have been through. Only if I know how to see the future.

I still remember 5 years before. I am a 15 years old, hot blooded, testosterone filled, energized and dumb teenager. Those are the best time of my life. It is the beginning of a new chapter of life. The bully stopped picking up on me. I started to have friends, friends that I hold till the end, till now. My grades got better, things started to flow with me. I am happy. I am no longer the nerd kid who hates on his life every fucking day. Also, mum is there. She is there for me.

5 years later,

The 15 years old teenager wouldn't imagine how life turns out for him. On the age of 16, he finally went out from the country, set on a plane and flew to the golden heart of Asia. When he was 17, he finally lost someone that is so precious in his life, someone that always been with him since the beginning. He finally learnt how to deal with his own life when he was 18 and it was 19, he tasted the highs and the lows of his life.

Only if he could see, the depths of his own future and how funny fate has been.

In the present, he predicted, 5 years later,

He is a happy man with a life saving job that got him up in the morning and send me home with a great satisfaction. He is seeing someone else, someone that he couldn't stop smiling when thinking about it. His relationship with his family has reconciled, everyone happy with what they have. He's been backpacking since and love every minutes of it. One of his best friends will become a successful chartered accountant/auditor and works in a good firm. Another has become a dentist and married his high school sweetheart. One becomes a lawyer and living a life with his fiance. The in born performer has found his way to the limelight, the girl he best friend with is one of the top achiever in her prospective field and the girl who doesn't know she have it all, find the right guy and married him.

5 years later, what'll you be?

The Things We Did Together

2011-06-24T01:24:00.000-07:00

I am really starting to miss Form Six.

Look at those crazy things we did back then and look I transformed from an introvert nerdy boy to an outspoken, outrageous, angry man. LOL.

I miss my bio class where I can kick in and sleep.

I miss my chem class where I ignored it most of the time.

I miss maths class where I get all my juicy story fix.

I miss my PA class where I talk crap with Pn.Lam.

I miss my MUET class where I can don't do anything.

ARGH!!! Dissection, Plant's sample collection, Insect's collection, Lower Sixth Camp, MUET Night, Telematch. Noooo!

How nice if I could turn back time. My grades could be greater thou. LOL.

IELTS

2011-06-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, I wasn't completely honest about returning back. Got tied up with my work. There are so much things happened in my life these two months, so I'll take sometime to refresh my memory and write the past in here.

So, IELTS. I took IELTS in the first place because I thought I am going to AUS ( which proven to be JUST a dream. ). I sighed up for a short course in Stamford College which costs about RM600, which doesn't help much. ( The only thing I find helpful is our listening exercise & a few of speaking test that we done. ) Our test is on 7th of May, includes all 4 tests ( the normal like writing, listening, speaking and reading. )

So, before the test, we studied not very hard. Mind you, is a language test, I think the only right thing I did is, I done all the listening exercises. I don't even write an essay, I just read them. Probably that I am too lazy. Out of the blue, WH got a call back from home saying that his listening has been postponed to Monday, which caused a small riot among us. LC called back home and found out that his test also postponed to Sunday and mine was rescheduled to Monday too. But, we decided we should ask the authority whether we can performed all the test in the same time ( like we have been told to. )

So, we woke up in the morning, the test is about 9.00am but we required to report/register in 8.00am in Corus Hotel ( which located very near to KLCC ). About 8.00am ( I think we arrived later than that ), we arrived on our test centre, there is like a bunch of people waiting on the outside. Then, we were ushered in to register for our test. I got the number 1005. We proceeded to another counter which requires all of us to hand in all of our possession. We only allowed to bring our own IC. Oh yea, we asked the authority whether we can have our speaking test on the same date because we are from other states. And thank god, she said yes and that she'll rearrange the time for us.

So, I followed the group to our test hall which is a big ballroom. My seat was on the fifth row, which is quite near to the screen, but the ballroom is equipped with plasma tv and good stereo, so I think gov should copy what the IELTS test been doing. You must provide good environment to all the candidates. ( I know we are paying for the test, which is RM570). A guy was sitting beside me, he is from China, I can tell by his accent. We were informed for the rules and the test kick start with listening test. The track is only played once, so I was like so damn focus on the entire time. The only thing I did wrong is the date part, where we are required to put down the exact answer, I missed that part. Then, we proceeded to reading test. Reading test was so much easier, although the paragraph is more harder than MUET, but better than the exercises that I been doing. The last test was writing. I admit, I hate writing so much. The first essay we need to explain the trend of books being bought in a country ( which is similar to our MUET test. ), ditto that. The second essay is on environment issues which I gave in a neutral stand.

On my writing test, they told me that my speaking test has been pushed to the same time on 5pm. Lucky. So after the test, we went around shopping in KLCC, LC gone in first about 1pm. WH test is on 3pm, but I tagged along anyway. Not long after WH's test, it was my turn. I was quite surprised. I went into the room, my examiner is a Hispanic look old lady with white curly hair. I took a deep breath and then the test began. She asked me where I am from, do I like animals? and do I love receive or giving gifts. The only thing I remember is that I told her I love to receive gifts, because I love to receive handmade gifts. Or what so ever. We proceeded to part two, which is the most unlucky part of my exam. I was given a question. Describe a favorite room of yours during your childhood. I was like GODDAMNFUCKIT!!!!!!!! My mind was out for a few seconds and the next thing I knew, the time is up and I am required to speak. The whole part I was stuck. I quickly gave in the points and then found myself with no words to utter. Shit. She then took control and then lead me to the third part. The third part is even more worst. She asked question like your own personal space vs the limited living space now. Utter bullshit. I don't even reckon those questions will be asked in the first place. I knew I was going to fail badly for this test.

Then we went home. 2 weeks later, I checked my email and voila! I got band 7.5. You know, I was going to like cry. Finally I can prove that I am not a bad English user. Fuck that MUET. My speaking test got band 6. I guess that old lady is being nice. Good karma for you. LOL.

And for those people out there, IELTS is so so so much easier than MUET. That is my opinion, not sure about others. MUET is a stupid test anyway.

Rejected

2011-04-21T07:50:00.000-07:00

"We have carefully considered your application vis-a-vis applications from all other eligible applicants. Regrettably, however, I have to inform you that your application has not been successful. I hope that you would appreciate the fact that admission to our undergraduate courses is highly selective in view of the large number of applications we receive, and the limited places that we can offer to international students. "

I was anxious about this when I received a message from Chun Yong that the result is out. I rushed home, only to find that I am disqualified. I was like, crushed, I guess? I really wanted to go Singapore but seems like I am running out of luck. I filed an appeal, hopefully, things will get around then. Since my shots at NTU is gone, I am afraid I stand no chance of getting in NUS either. Oh well, life goes on.

Congratulations for Chin Chun Yong, my best bro for getting in NTU. Proud of you, man!

Ponder

2011-04-19T09:05:00.000-07:00

Got accepted for USM for interview and, it is, at, Kelantan.

Kelantan. The place sounds so far yet so near. Heard about it but, I don't really know a damn thing about Kelantan, apart from their unique malay accent. So, I been pondering whether I should go or not. I mean, I know the chances to get what you want is rare, but then, nutrition is not really I want for, you know. So, here I am, standing at the cross road again. Fucking hell. I hate making decisions, maybe, I afraid I make a wrong one?

I still waiting for my NTU acceptance, I really like Singapore. Is near and it is convenient to live there. Although I know my study life is going to be a mess, but, I wanted to, I got no choice. Plus, Ben and Chun Yong are applying too. I have friends.

Confessions of An Ex Sixth Form Student

2011-04-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

So yes. I was once, you. Standing in the middle of two diverge roads, wondering which fucking road to traveled on. I was determined not to set my mind on the rough way to Utopia, instead I was opted to take a new polished tardy road. But in the end, under God's will, I was forced to walked among the rough road and enter the famous "Form Six is very hard" palace.

So, Form Six. It consists of one and a half year, divided into Lower and Upper. There are many subjects available but every Sixth Form student is forced to take General Paper. Maximum subjects allowed is 5 ( advised not to take more than 4, unless you're a fucking genius.) It is divided into two streams, Science and Arts. Okay, first thing first, Art or Science? If you're a Science student, you generally facing problem like this. Facts, in Form Six, there are 80% of students consists of Art students and 20% consists of Science student. So, is hectic and competitive if you're in the Art stream, if you didn't get at least 3.00, you should be a little worried, since you did not have any advantages like Science student have. Moreover, you have to struggle at the beginning if you have no foundation ground in the Art subjects that you took. Believe me, is not pleasant.

Since, I am a Science student, I'll be talking about Science stuff. Okay, if you're a Science student, you have to make your first/second choice, Physics or Biology? Chemistry is a MUST, so, for those who sucks at Chemistry, make sure you brush up your skills, you'll be fucked by physical, organic and inorganic chemistry. Believe me bro, is hell. Back to topic, generally, guys will choose Physics and girls will choose Biology, but it depends your interest. Make sure which subject you're comfortable of and willing to study it. Don't make choices based on your grades received from STPM, it does not work that way. You'll find yourself sink into an endless mind fuck till the end. Physics is more on applying while Biology is more on memorizing. Chemistry is both. For your information, Mathematics is 2x of Additional Mathematics. So yea. Be prepared.

You probably heard this a lot but, I have to repeat for you. Form Six is all about hardwork and study smart. I had a friend that studied like mad ( seriously, you don't wanna know how mad she went) but still, not very good with her results. Advise for you, take a break for awhile. Enjoy life and cheers with your friends but still, remember to catch up with your studies. Is hard to digest at first, but slowly, you'll get around. If you don't understand, be brave and ask questions. Ask lots of questions. If you're quite weak on a certain subject, ask those experts in your class or other classes. Get them to teach you how they study that subject. ( Yes, it works. I did, so can you.) Not to forget, if you're good at the subject, don't be selfish, help your friends to get through the darkness. When you're teaching you're actually revising and get to know more about things you never thought of when that person asking questions. Plus, it adds up for your karma points, right?

Lets not forget about curriculum activities. To ensure you have good points, first, be involved in your society. Don't be the quiet one and just sit there awaiting time to pass. In my school, we fixed the clubs that we can join, so, first time, everyone is racing for their posts in clubs. If you're a in-born leader, do take the lead, you'll be rewarded. To get higher points, each clubs usually organized fun events during your school time. Don't skip any of those fun events. Is FUN FUN FUN!!! plus, you get to know more people.

Conclusion, Form Six ain't that bad but still, not easy. If you make up your mind to here, just hang on tight, bite your lips and you'll get through it. STPM is very useful. You have lots of choices afterwards, not like other diploma options like SAM, A Level, IB and such, you have an advantage of either going local universities or overseas ( Don't be naive, STPM is recognized as the second hardest exam in the world, so is globally accepted. But, you need to take up IELTS or TOEFL) while they can only choosing private or overseas. Matriculation is only for those who really wanted to study in Malaysia only. For those who aiming to get into Singapore, NUS or NTU, make sure you scored your MUET, at least band 4, at least 200 marks.

So, that's my point of view of Form Six. But, bear that in mind, you might not get the courses you wanted if you get into local, unless, unless, you're a 4.0 student. Hope I can clarify things for you.

Specially dedicated to my friend.

Comeback

2011-04-14T01:42:00.001-07:00

Finally, I am back. I am feeling so bad for leaving my blogger to tumblr. Tumblr is no fun at all ( Okay, I have 11 followers only. Yea, I am an unpopular shit. LOL)

I missed the days when I am writing blog. Like, people DO read my blogs. Unlike tumblr, I totally did not blog at all. I was doing reblog and stuff.

So, things happened in my life after the last post on January.

I got my STPM result. Proud of it. Happy with it. I was even doubting myself, like, is this a dream? Honestly, I never ever thought I could be one of them. Seriously. I never passed my Chemistry and was barely hanging on with my maths and now, A- and B+? So unbelievable. When the teacher is annoucing the top students, inside, I was screaming my name. yes. Literally, I was "call my name, please call my name, Vince. Vince. Vince." And then, *proof*, holy cow, I was on the stage, receiving my results. I went GAGA, like, almost screaming on top of my lungs. And I very proud of the trio. Chun Yong, Wee Loon and me. We all did pretty awesome. So so proud of us and the breakthrough we made. And for those who did not meet the expectations, you guys are still awesome no matter what. STPM doesn't prove anything. It's you, prove that you're a better person with awesome future.

Now, I am trying to applying some universities. Local, Singapore and Australia. The offer letter received by now is UTAS, Bachelor of Science/Arts. Honestly, I have no idea why the fuck I chosen double degree. Right now, I have to wait for other offers to come in and set my mind of what I can do. Wee Loon is going India by this September for Dentistry, CCY is pretty much waiting for Singapore offer letter, Robin going UTAR for engineering, LC is going to Singapore to study Mass Communication, WC and KS is going for MMU and the rest is pretty much settled down for local.

In the moment, I am doing my part time job in Padini again. Urgh but I get to meet a lot of interesting people in my work. Make some good friends. Did some shits. Totally tired of working drama. I have another 2 months to hang on. Starting to miss Benson and Alfred a lil, since I never saw them after CNY. Anyways, I have return to my holy palace and will be continue sharing my distorted thoughts with all my followers? stalkers? and friends.

How I Wish Everyone The Same

2011-01-13T09:19:00.000-08:00

It really hurts when seeing two best friends bid goodbye. They been through so much together. All those shits, those fucked up moment. What if we never able to met people like that? What if this was the last time they saw each other? Why everyone have to leave?

I wish everyone can stay the same. You know. People changed. I don't know. Maybe distance? or we adapted new environment and forget to adapt to the old memories. I don't know. Sometimes, I felt like I am the only one who has been reminiscing the friendship, I know I am weird, but I don't have any other things to handle. Maybe I am lonely. Whatever shit.

When I do leave, I wanna give a huge hug to everyone because, I don't know, will I meet them again? Life is fragile. Too fragile.

skins

2011-01-12T05:25:00.000-08:00

Skins is a Britain teen drama which featured stuff that we are not seen everyday. Unlike American teen drama, I would say Skins is so much deeper in terms of emotional side and have a generally much better plot. American teen drama is all about sex. Everyone technically having sex with each other and lack of the improvement of storyline. Skins is different. Each characters in Skins having their own issues and problems and each episodes, they focus on a character and elaborate on their character. So far, there are characters dealing sexual orientation problem ( who's gay, who's lesbian and who's bisexual. ), family dysfunction ( almost all the characters having family dysfunction with the exception of Maxxie, Anwar and JJ ), mental illness ( Effy has depression and Cassie has eating disorder ), death ( both Freddie and Chris are died in the series ), alcohol, drugs and smoke ( all characters did all that in the series. ) and of course sex. The story revolves around teenagers in their A Level.

There are 4 seasons currently and soon a 5 season. The cast will be replaced after 2 season, bringing in a new generation. Series 1 and 2 has Tony the manipulative smart guy and has a shallow girlfriend, Michelle. Sidney is Tony's best friend and he is loyal and supportive but he likes Michelle too. Cassie is the weird girl in school which later grow affections to Sidney. Jal is a clarinet player who is the caretaker of the group. Chris is a party animal which has a tragic history. Maxxie is the cutest guy ever in TV history and he's gay. Anwar is a muslim however, he did not practice his religion well. The second generation has Effy, sister of Tony as the main character and she befriends with Pandora, the awkward girl. Cook, Freddie and JJ are best friends with Cook is a violent douchebag, Freddie is a nicotine addict skater and JJ is an autism desperate for attention. Emily and Katie is a twins, with Katie a obnoxious bitch and Emily a lesbian develop relationship with political charged, strong and independent girl Naomi.

Personally, I like how the writers wrote the episodes. I love Maxxie and Anwar friendship. Anwar is a Muslim, hence, he cannot accept homosexual however he did went around doing things that are against his religion which pisses Maxxie. So, in Anwar's birthday, Maxxie insisted Anwar to tell his parents that he is gay. Anwar didn't want to. So, Maxxie wanted outside the club in COLD. I mean WTF?! That is so touching. In the end, Maxxie himself told Anwar's father that he is gay with Anwar's father saying that there are things his God didn't tell him, until HE does, he will treat him as the same. Another feature on is Chris. Chris's personality are the direct impact of their parents shit. Her mum ran away, her father married another girl and his caring brother died. I also like the relationship between Cassie and Sid. Cassie has hallucinate about Sid sending messages to tell her to eat ( she has eating disorder ) and since, Cassie fall in love with her. Sid is in love with Michelle and he didn't give a damn about Cassie. So, Sid promised Cassie a date which in the end, he ran out with Michelle causing Cassie heartbroken and commit suicide.

In series 3 and 4, the only thing seems adorable to me is the relationship between Emily and Naomi. I love what Emily said. "I love girls. No. I love a girl. No. I love her. I love....her." and points toward Naomi and Glasvegas "It's My Own Cheating Heart That Makes Me Cry" playing. Damn!!!

30 days of challenge

2011-01-08T09:18:00.000-08:00

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Let’s go personal, shall we?

I wish I don’t put too much on friendship. I mean, the problem is on me actually. My friends they are doing perfectly fine on being a best friend. No doubt. I couldn’t ask for more. I am being guilty for having such handful of besties around. Is just that I put too much on it. I expected too much. So, yea, I am going to change it. Less emo, more smiley! =)

I am proud to be here. I now preached and practice ICAEW.
Missing all my mates. =C
Wish u guys all the best, Benson, Vince and Alien. By Alfred.

And Zihan said he loves me. ( as a friend. no no no homo. )

I am so blessed!

30 days of challenge

2011-01-08T06:39:00.000-08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 10 interesting facts about yourself

My recent picture is on the blog anyway. So, skip that.

1) I have a problem with farting. I tend to fart too much. like 20 times or so in a day. A short ride to school, I released 5 farts. So, I mastered the art of farts, that is to make the fart farts soundless.

2) I dislocated my jaws. It just happened in one day when I am eating, then I heard a cracking sound and a huge pain coming from my jaw. Then, I just smack my chin with utter force to locate my jaw again. However, it will still dislocated frequently and I don’t have any attention to fix it.

3) I attracted the ugly gays. They are mostly fat or just ew. I don’t know why. Girls just don’t dig me.

4) I have an ex Irish girlfriend before. Well, I don’t even remember her name. So, might not be my girlfriend.

5) When I am think about something, I can visualize it. Like, when I am reading a novel or so, it was a movie running through my brain. It is same as when I am writing a story.

6) I think I am an attention seeker. I always wanted attention from others BUT I do not do something to attract others attention.

7) I make friends with my feelings. When my heart tells me that you should stay away from my circle, you’ll always out of the equation. I don’t know why. I have huge problem with this.

8) I have two near death experience. One is that I almost drown in the pool because I wanted to swim, another is when I am crossing the road, the upcoming car sped up. ( I swear I almost felt like I am going to die on the spot. )

9) When I was young, I was so into Charmed, then I started to learn how to make a spell. like invisible to the teacher. it was a nice one!

10) I love to say ‘I love you’ to my friends. Is not homo, is me, spreading the LOVE.

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

Since my blog used the same name, i guess this can answer those people who was asking me this.

with one arm stretch is actually derived from the song ‘with arms outstretched’ by Rilo Kiley and think about this, when you’re trying to hug your brothers or showing supports to your friend/family, you stretch your one arm around his shoulder right? Yeah. So, the meaning of with one arm stretch. It means,

I am there for you.

Day 03 can be found on http://withonearmstretch.tumblr.com/ because there is pictures involved.

Grooming Tips

2011-01-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

Take a look at yourself.

Take a look into your closet.

Now, think.

Is it your grooming style brings the best out of you?

Okay, first off. I am not a fashion designer or whatever shit. I am just quite stylish. Most of the time, I know what to wear and what not to wear. ( I am stressing on most of the time. ). So, I am here to talk about some 'fashion disaster' aka 'please stay in your house if you're doing this.'

First, only SHOES or SNEAKERS goes with JEANS. Other than that, you can either don't wear jeans or don't wear at all.

Second, buy shirts that goes well with your skin tone. Often, people just randomly put something nice on and expected the best. But, please get to see whether your skin color are match with the color of the shirt. Dark skin people should choose color which are brighter, never ever have a black tee. It just makes you more darker. Pale skin people should choose color which are darker but brighter color won't do too much damage thou. So, pale or fair skin people get some advantages.

Third, don't put on so much BLINGS BLINGS. Accessories for guys are only limited to one or two. Too much will make you look weirder and gayer. And don't put some accessories to your phone and let it hanging out in your pocket, once, I saw a guy has all of his pockets having blings blings hanging out. It just so wrong.

Fourth, don't do 'LALA' ever. The 'lala' is defined as a person who dress too dramatic. The 'lala's is very much a copycat. They just wear what people wearing in Taiwan, Hong Kong, Korea or Japan. You know, the scarf? That's just ridiculous.

Fifth, wear anything you feel nice and comfortable. Trends are not to be follow blindly.

New Year Countdown

2010-12-31T21:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, it started with Zihan asking me to hang out with him and Ross for countdown.

Okay, this is a SURPRISE because he is really busy with his stuff after he went to college and now he had to take care of his girlfriend. So, I asked Chin to tag along.

But, at the end, I told them to find their own entertainment. I feel so bad ditching them but, I got no idea what to do.

Then, I joining Long Choy's group to Everly Bay. I thought there is a countdown party over there ad there is a one last year. But we went there, there is no one there. Not a freaking shit. I was pretty down, like, I am ruining everyone's new year eve. You know, I saw some people their face immediately from happy faces to like utter shit. I feel so bad. Real bad. But, thanks to Long Choy, he immediately enlighten the spirits. He started to drew on the sand about his dream and so we did too. Then, we started singing, talking, laughing and running around the sand.

Then, we went to the Hotel & Resort and it was awesome. The design is like a palace and Ben & LC went into princess mode. Then, we back to the beach again, waiting to countdown.

The good thing about this bay is that we can see fireworks from all over Melaka. We waited and once we saw the biggest fireworks, we shout! then we hug each other.

After this, we went for supper. Our car is filled with joys and sounds as we sing a long with the radio. Chasing cars, Your body is a wonderland and Crazy in Love. WC farted twice in the car. Then, supper. WC had cat poop. Then, we head back home, singing Fireworks by Katy Perry and had a last group hug before we went home.

LC: Who says u gotta spend ur new year eve in a crowded place? I just had the best new year eve ever! With a bunch of closed friends counting down tht few seconds before the arrival of a new year in a beach with no one but ourselves, writing down our dreams and hopes for the new year on the sand and enjoying ourselves by acting silly and laughing all the way till the fireworks begin are simply fascinating.

Ben: had the BEST countdown EVER !!!!! ♥

Ivan: We drew our wishes on the wet sand and fooling around like nobody's business...

The best New Year celebration with you guys ever...
The writings on the shore will fade, but I hope our friendship will last...
Happy 2011 + Forever Best Friends..!

New Year Resolution

2010-12-31T10:05:00.000-08:00

"Drum rolls"

Now is the time to review my new year resolution!

Jeng Jeng Jeng..............

Okay, first off, I wanna wish you all homo sapiens a happy new 2011 year. Hope this is a good year for everyone, no more war but peace. I wanna say thank you for those people who made my 2010 year kinda good. LOL. My mom and dad, brothers and sisters, cousins and friends, thank you!!

Okay, 2011 new year resolution.

First. Head into my dreams. No second guessing of my abilities. I can do it. I have what it takes.

Second. Be a good person for everyone. Saying more 'sorry', 'thank you' and 'I love you'

Third. Be a happy, content dude instead of whiny, emo dork. Be more optimistic.

That should be it.

Rewind 2010

2010-12-27T08:44:00.001-08:00

A blink of eye and there is the end of 2010. Time flies. Lets rewinding the top 10 things worth remembered for 2010.

1) Ass Tee Pee Aim

( Note : This isn't my result slip, but I hope I can be like him. LOL. BTW, this dude is good looking, not to mention, a brainer.)

I will pass down this to my junior. Don't take STPM unless you have no another route to walk. This freaking test is fucking harder than you thought. Plus, you need to follow stupid school rules, wearing school uniforms, handling your society while dealing with teachers. Oh, don't forget you need to study like a freaking nerd in order to survive. No. Go find something else. You deserved better. But, for me, although I always said Form Six is a mistake, I can't deny I did enjoy it. Really. If I can choose again, I want to make the same mistake again. =)

2) Performed on 50th Anniversary of GBS

Never in my life I think I will actually standing on the stage and perform. Is like WOW? I did that? Okay, learning the dance is quite hard for me. I didn't quite get some part but I have serious fun!! For practice, we dance in the hall, in the freaking koperasi open area where everyone standing around watching us dancing. And boy, people are cheering for us. Although I am tired, you know, I have to juggle of my study and this, but this is something I did and proud of it.

3) 19th Birthday!

I have 3 birthday cakes this year! Well, in my whole life, I never ever have such birthday before. I mean, no one buying birthday cakes for me ( other than my parents. ) This meant so much to me. And my friends are celebrating with me! ( yea, my friends didn't celebrate my birthday before. ) But that doesn't matter anymore. Thanks to all my dear friends! and the gifts too! Ps: Can you do it for my 20th birthday? LOL!!

4) Family Trip, Deserted to Kukup!

Is been a long time our big family went out for a trip and this come at the right time. Me and my cousins are like laughing in the car while travelling there. We acted, we sang and we are warned by the folks that we went too far ( they said the whole car was shaking.) Upon reaching there, we played mahjong, cards, movies, singing and have a leisure time in the island. Not to mention, good food! sea foods!

5) The Trio

We're the champion, my friend. We are the back sitter. We have so much fun behind the class. We joked, we played and pretty much gossiping. ( Er, we are very caring human being. XD ) There is one time we laughed like 30 mins or so on a same joke. Unbelievable. I think the teachers will be missing us thou because we always ask silly questions, give ridiculous response. I'll be missing those two!

6) Farewell, GBS

My last day in school. I mean, the last time. I will not waking up in the morning, dragging myself to school, wearing school uniforms, ever. I kinda sad thou. So much memories. This is the place where I been nurture, my third home. ( I have 2 houses. ) I'll missing the toilets thou, is a trademark. If you ever been to GBS, please to take a big snuff at GBS boys toilets.

7) Bernie's Death

In case you're wondering who's Bernie, do u-turn it. My first ever dissection. I felt awesome! Do you how excited I am when I am holding this tiny, warm creature on my hands? Oh gosh, I can feel my adrenaline secreted when I slowly cutting her epidermis and dermis reviewing her prefect structure of organs and systems. And I even cut her head off and squish out her brain. Note : I think I am a psycho.

8) Dessie's Return and Gathering

Desmond returning from Australia so I threw a gathering for him. ( Yea, I am pretty AWESOME!) Classmates from everywhere reunited and have a great dinner. Everyone is so different when they leave the school. Although there is only half of it, but it was a great evening/night. Looking forward for moreeeeee.

9) Ass-signment

Our first ever assignment. Our topic is about recycling stuff. We took about months to finish it up. Dealing with gruesome reports and nerve breaking presentation. We even do a survey on new Jusco to get response from the community. A million thanks to Mdm Lam because she was the mastermind behind out report. We won RM 40 for our not so good work and we bought a gold metal for her.

10) MUET Night

We performed the same drama but we have continuity. We won third place. Pretty much awesome.

I am quite satisfied for what I did this year. Remember my new year resolution?

New Year Resolution
- quit being lazy and score well in exams
-be a better person
-gain some weight
-do incredible things in this year
-do well in chemistry
-find someone I love

I pretty much checked all the solution. Will be posting my solution soon!

By the way, what's your rewind?

Stalker

2010-12-26T08:42:00.000-08:00

I guess everyone noticed my chatbox is filled with some disturbing comments and really gay stuff. So, I took some time to check on the identity of those stalkers. It turns out that I have 3 stalkers, all from different country.

The one with he loves fucking dog in the butthole is a dude from Arizona, United State.

The one with feet lick and lick my sack is a student from Edmonton, Canada.

The one which frequently disturb my chatbox previously is a guy from Nilai, Negeri Sembilan.

I don't know if there is any connection between this three really weird stalkers, but please, go somewhere else vent your sexual frustration ( on a artificial doll or something. Not humans. )

For others, please do leave footprints. I am starting to talking to myself.

romance

2010-12-25T09:20:00.001-08:00

Last time, I hated romance movie. I mean everything is so cheesy, this rich, handsome, macho guy falls in love with this sweet, beautiful, graceful girl, been through some shit, got married, hua la, happy ending. But somehow, just one movie changed my perspective.

It was 500 Days of Summer. I can't believe I would be so touched by a romance movie since I never been in love. I can actually feel the pain, the heartbroken, the heartache. It was... terrifying. And then, I started to build interest in those movies. I started to watch Letter to Juliet, which is quite a let down, She's Out of Your League is quite interesting, because the guy is average, okay looking, faces that you can find on the street and low paid met this classy, witty and beautiful girl. Kinda cheesy but they approach in a different way. And then, I have The Rebound. A very debatable topic about this old lady falls in love with a younger guy.

I guess these romance movies give me hope that I will find someone special. I do feel lonely thou, watching your friends fall in and out of love, while, I still, have no one in my life. But, I'll wait. I can wait. I don't wanna rush into things. I want her to be special. Do I have anyone particular in mind? Maybe.

Me

2010-12-24T09:29:00.000-08:00

I wanna take some time to know about myself, more.

About You

Eye Color: Brown. I don't know why people said black. Is your iris, not your pupil.
Hair Color: Brownish/Chinese blond
Height: Short? LOL
Favorite Color: White. Pure.
Screen Name: schwoyxer
Favorite Band: Sum 41, thou it changes frequently.
Favorite Movie: (500) days of summer. Hands down.
Favorite Show: GLEE!
Your Car: Kancil.
Your Hometown: Malacca
Your Present Town: Malacca, I don't think I wanna leave this beautiful town.
Your Crushes First Name: Carmen?
Your Grade: Reasonable.
Your Style: Carefree.

Have You Ever

Sat on your rooftop? No, not yet.
Kissed someone in the rain? Sadly, no.
Danced in a public place? YEAP!
Smiled for no reason? Most of the time.
Laughed so hard you cried? Pretty much
Peed your pants after age 8? No way!!
Written a song? Yea. I am pretty artistic.
Sang to someone for no reason? No way. If I am singing to you, you're very important to me.
Performed on a stage? YEAP! YEAP!
Talked to someone you don't know? I did. Ha!
Gone out of your way to befriend someone? I think so. I tend to be stupidfied.
Made out in a theatre? I am still holy ya.
Gone roller skating since 8th grade? I only tried roller skate once and I swear I will not do it again.
Been in love? I wish I could.

Who was the last person to

Say HI to you? Alfred?
Tell you, I love you? I not sure. I don't recall of anyone saying that to me.
Kiss you? No, not yet.
Hug you? Robin?
Tell you BYE? Benson.
Write you a note? I don't remember.
Take your photo? Myself.
Call your cell phone? Dad
Buy you something? Cousin Wen
Go with you to the movies? A gang of my friends
Sing to you? No one.
Write a poem about you? I am waiting for HER to write me one.

Text message you? Sang Tuan
Touch you? In what sense? my brother?

What's the last

Time you laughed? Last night
Time you cried? Few months ago.
Movie you watched? Last night. 8.25pm
Joke you told? Last night. Certified.
Song you've sang? She'll Be Loved
Time you've looked at the clock? 1.35am
Drink you've had? Plain water
Number you've dialed? Cousin Chin's number
Book you've read? What on Earth Happened?
Food you've eaten? You Cha Kuey
Flavor of gum chewed? Peppermint
Shoes you've worn? Crocs
Store you've been in? Tesco
Thing you've said? Bye.

Can You

Write with both hands? I wish I am ambiguous.
Whistle? I can't. I don't know why.
Blow a bubble? Partially.
Roll your tongue in a circle? Impossible feat to make.
Cross your eyes? Yea.
Touch your tongue to your nose? If I have longer tongue
Dance? Yes. I could.
Gleek? YEAP YEAP YEAP!
Stay up a whole night without sleep? No problem yo.
Speak a different language? Totally.
Impersonate someone? Yup.
Prank call people? Yup.
Make a card pyramid? Never try that before.
Cook anything? No

Finish The Line

If i were a ... bird, I will be flying with a bunch of other birds, feeling the air brushes against my feather. Not need to fret about tomorrow.
I wish ... I can be a better person for my family and friends.
So many people don't know that ... I crave for their attention because sometimes I am always leftout. I want to be remember. Not to forget.
I am ... a sensitive insecure guy that put too much emotion in everything and ends up getting hurt.
My heart is ... made up of cardiac muscles that is myogenic,and each muscles is connected with branching fibres and I have a sinoatrial node as a pacemaker.

New

2010-12-21T18:45:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!

Got a new layout here!

Spend 30 mins to edit out. Phewwwww. Codec are MESSY!

I don't really like this layout thou. Anyway, this I what I have in sleeves.

If you wanna see my profile and wanted to *ahem ahem* stop the music.

click on the the black thingy on your top right hand side.

( I assume you can see the arrow. You ain't dumb right? )

Follow me on Tumblr!

http://withonearmstretch.tumblr.com/

Twitter!

http://twitter.com/#!/schwoyxer

Kid Haircut

2010-12-21T06:42:00.000-08:00

This is how homo sapiens cut their hair

so damn serious eh. BTW, i hate harem pants!

after a haircut, he is enjoying a washing hair massage.

he sleeps like an angel but when he is awake, he is so damn active.

he's in pain. my cousin ain't pro.

Finally! A handsome dude is born.

Wanna know who he is?

jeng jeng jeng! MINI VINCE! We are awful look-a-like. Now we are having the same haircut too.

............and the same pattern. Ha!

Oh, sorry for the really late updates even though I am a free man now. I am quite busy actually.

Will be blog more often. Check out my tumblr too!

Goodbye

2010-12-15T08:12:00.000-08:00

Exactly hours later, I will be free.

No strings attached, I am flying high.

Looking back for what I did, I'd say : "I won't change a thing."

Sure I have a pretty rocky year, but what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.

Form Six teaches me a lot of things in life.

Never give up, be diligent, be fun and outgoing, be dare to embrace your inner self, be dare to take up challenges, be confident of your choice and be yourself.

I will cherish those who stood beside and make my life a magical.

Without you guys acting as a supporting system, I'll be crumpling down.

You're guys are amazing. :)

I wanna record my deepest thank you to all my teachers, Mdm Goh, Mdm Lam, Mdm Tan, Mdm Chow and Mr. Tay. Without you guys, I barely make it through.

I wanna say thank you to Wee Loon and Chun Yong, my brother who was with me through thick and thin.

I wanna say thank you to Mahn Ling and Liang Khai, my BFF delighted my Form Six life.

I wanna say thank you to Long Choy, who let me having a chance performing on stage. Never in my life I thought I could do something like that.

I wanna say thank you to Jia Ying, Si Mei, Soo Ling who helped me on my studies.

I wanna say thank you to Kah Hui and Hui Shan, I'll miss those days we went crazy and laughing like nobody business.

I wanna say thank you to Robin, Wee Sern, Alvin, Ivan, Ben, Kin Sum, Sang Tuan, Melvin, Wen Chiang and all my beloved friends.

I wanna say thank you to every classmates of Lower Six Science 4 and Upper Six Bio 1, you guys gave a pretty amazing experience.

So, it ends here.

Bye.

Vector Song

2010-12-12T06:05:00.000-08:00

(Chorus)
I see you driving ‘me crazy
With the relative thing and I’m like,
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the change in the direction
Wasn't correct i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck me too!
I said, if i was smarter, i'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish me the best with a...
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo

Yeah i'm sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing,
But that don't mean i can't calculating.
I guess your an xbox and i'm more atari,
But the way you play your angle ain't fair.

I picture the nerd that falls in love with you
(oh shit your a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and change your little velocity

(chorus)

Now i know, that i had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
Trying to solve ya, trying to figure ya.
'Cause being syallbus with you ass ain't cheap.

I picture the nerd that falls in love with you
(oh shit your a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
http://www.elyricsworld.com/fuck_you_lyrics_cee-lo_green.html
I've got some news for you
i really hate yo angle right now
(chorus)

Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?

(so bad, so bad, so bad)
I tried to tell my teacher but she told me
"this is one for your maths"
(your maths, your maths, your maths)
Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh!
Whhhy vector? Oh! I hate you oh!
I still hate you. Oooh!

(chorus)

I edit it in a real fast manner, so some parts doesn't rhyme and didn't change much.

I still HATE vector.

End

2010-12-10T03:48:00.000-08:00

Initially, I wanted to reblogging after my STPM but since I have some time to kill ( well, I am lazy.) I decided to put my Form Six into an end.

After I finished my high school, it was never my intention to study Form Six but I don't where goes wrong, I decided to give it a try. It was a mistake. ( I get that part done, check back my archive, I don't want to be a whining kid. )

Lower Sixth is pretty much FUN! Yea, I met a lot of new people, new faces around school and getting really close with my classmates. We are tight. We went out together, going Botanical Garden for our assignment, going on an eat tour, BBQ night, painting our later-not-our class and performing on stage. We have a lot of fun. Then, I said maybe this wasn't a big mistake after all.

It was Upper Sixth that changes everything. Everything. Things are getting rough. People starting to get to know you more and they saw your flaw cracked in front of them. Then, it hits them, "Wah, why he/she like that? I better distance myself." And so, they went from total best friends to nothing. Scary. However, there is always a balance. Some people connected because they saw something good inside in certain people they don't notice before. Miracle. Not only people changes, my studies was going under. Consecutive 3 times failed my Chemistry. I was like so defeated. It was my darkest time in my life. I simply just... gave up. There is no people around there to save me from the darkness. I just kept sinking. Until, it was something that someone said. No, it wasn't comforting words, it was something he/she said that let me realize how small that I become. I am no longer the old me. I became little.

Then, I started to pick up the pace. I get back what I had lost. The confidence. The dream. I restored the old me. Well, about some people, I just can't do anything. People comes and goes, those who accepted me, stay. Those who are not, thanks for the memories. I can't believe I survived Form Six. Is like I am wining Survivor. LOL. Yea, Form Six is too, a social game but I don't get to vote people out.

I just left 2 more papers! This war is never ending. I am running out of energy. Seriously. I barely wanted to study. But, I guess I have to bite my lips and get through this.

Sorry for the long drought. I AM BACK!! by next week. Ha!

2010-10-07T18:02:00.001-07:00

Finally finished trial exam. Phew~

But this time, my result weren't that bad but there is still room of improvement.

I really really work hard for it this time. Imagine I studied 2 volumes of chemistry in just one day. I was like, OMG, zombieeeeeeee.

After the results coming out, I feel like, I am still at the bottom of the food chain.

Not that I want to compare results with others, but, I hate losing.

When you lose, there are always people judge your ability and look down at you. And then, there is sarcastic comments like 'I am better than you' that kind of bullshit. So, I am kinda losing some of the confidence that I gained last few months. I just feel like I am not being myself ( no, not the hardworking part.) I don't know, I hate to be jealous of someone's result because they work hard for it. I am not that kind of person who is like jealous of you because you did something good and then I spent my whole life trying to crush you down. I am not that. Argh. Stress turned me into a freaking bad person.

There are only few days left and I can say bye bye! Seriously, when there is a holiday, I feel like I am in heaven. You get what I mean? LOL

who

2010-09-24T10:51:00.000-07:00

I knew someday this day will come. But I didn't know it will be so soon.

I gotta stay strong.

They need me.

2010-09-09T10:03:00.000-07:00

好朋友就是抓住你的一个缺点说上半天的那些人……
好朋友就是在你面前肆无忌惮地说很难听的话的那些人…
好朋友就是听到你说了一句错话笑闹半天还要罗嗦上一段时间的那些人……
好朋友是无论谁占谁一点便宜都不会计较的那个人
好朋友就是俩个人在一起，你不用担心会说什么错话。做错什么事的那个人！
好朋友就是和他在一起时你是最真实的你的那个人。

好朋友就是不经常联系，但你还忘不掉的那个人！

I miss you guys.

the way

2010-08-20T03:10:00.000-07:00

Remember when we were little kids, there is a form that we need to fill in every year about our future career? That time the information was a little limited and I was put Teacher as my first choice and later filled up with things like Fireman, Police and something I will or you will not able to foreseen. ( Yea, I think I will ended up a police officer who was the one got caught by the thieves instead of catching them. )

After primary school, I was still certain that I will become a teacher. But that desire slowly fade away as time washes my soul. Being a teacher, is like living in a hell filled with oestrogen and testosterone which violates your inner peace and turning your life upside down. I got lost for several years until Form Five which I continue to grow interest on genetics and considered to be a genetictian.

After Form Five, I am considering myself to becoming a doctor but I knew I was never going to make it. But I know, I wanted to work in a hospital. I love the environment, the smell of drugs and antibodies and the atmosphere. Most people going to hospital for 3 reasons, they are sick or they are going to check whether they are sick or they are visiting someone they cared. Either of it, all of them are being exposed to the negativity and I want to change that. I want to bring hope, I want to let them feel they are something, each and everyone of them are part of the soul, creation of God and evolution. I want them to have their life back onto the right track, living a happy life with their family, with people they love. I miss that feeling and I am not going to let kids like me to be like me. I will bring their parents home safely.

I can't be a doctor. So, I opted to be a biomedical scientist. ( Okay, this isn't really biggie. Our primary job is like checking your blood, your urine and analyse it and giving you the report and advising the doctor what treatment should they give and stuff. Yea. I probably don't really contact with the patients which I love to. )

I know it is going to be a rough way and I might not be turned out to be. But hell, I willing to be a janitor in the hospital. ( LC suggested it. )

2010-08-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was on the stage on Pay Fong High School.
How often do people have the chance to actually stand on the stage and perform?
I am so blessed to be offered this chance.
But I have to say sorry to all my fellow dancers and Long Choy because I am very very very messy up there. Somehow, my brain just went blank.

After the performance, I was able to hang out with my best friends.
Awesome!
And we finally had a group shot! Ahoy! Ahoy!

deep down

2010-08-02T06:15:00.000-07:00

My brain tells me to EMO. Sorry peeps but I can't control how I think.
Any of my closest friends know that I am actually an over sensitive guy. Yes. OVER sensitive.
Some words you spoke, some gestures you did, some words you wrote, I actually try to define in my way and it always translated your innocent action into something amplified worst case scenario.
I don't know why I am acting like that, I certainly do not want to acting such jerk ass all the time.

Maybe, my gang didn't ask me out for a movie, then, I'll starting to think that they forgot about me and stuff. The truth? He knows I am having tuition and he even knows what's the time of my tuition.

Maybe, my best friend kept on using his sarcasm on me. I'll start to think that they don't really understand me. The truth? They know me better than myself.

Maybe, my gang didn't ask me out for a birthday bash. I'll start to think why on earth they do this to me. The truth? They are going out with another gang and they scared that I will not fit into the group.

Maybe, my best friend didn't sit beside me. I'll start to think he isolated me. The truth? He wasn't seeing me there and I was appearing as 'emo'.

Such negativity linger in my head for a long long time. I knew it but I can't get rid of it. This is like a curse or something. I just can't freaking control. Of course, I know what causes the over sensitive part. And exam has contributed some of its side effect on my mood too.

Anyway, I guess I am just scared. I mean, I am afraid that my best friends have another group of best friends and they will eventually forgot about me. ( Oh, this is the over thinking part ) but I know, they won't, because, there is a reason why they are my best friends.

Cheers.

Congrats to my BFF for getting a girlfriend. ( This reminds me that I actually bet with someone that he won't get a gf before me. I won! )

2010-07-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

I been watching How I Met Your Mother awhile ago and I like it.
The whole sitcom really got me laughing.
I wish I have friends that funny. No, I mean they are funny but not that funny. LOL.
And they always hanging out together, doing crazy stuff and living a life.
How nice if my life is like that.

Ah well,
I couldn't ask for more, can't I?

can you?

2010-07-26T05:37:00.001-07:00

There are several things I wanted to do after STPM

1. Get into relationship and tell her I love her.
2. Write a full story as I wanted to do all this months.
3. Vacation to somewhere-else. More like running away to some places other than here.
4. Earn some serious cash.
5. Decorate my new room.
6. Being a sleepy head.

Around Fec, I'll off to Taiwan with my BFF. Trying to ask permission to go Australia as well. But my chances are very ... very thin. Of course, I'll off to Singapore for several days, maybe a week or so, to visit their bookstores. Muhahahaha. They have the biggest bookstore ever. I am trying to make my passport worth the money since it is going to expired.

Note : I love sleep over!

whatever

2010-07-25T09:31:00.000-07:00

"I will be back."
You said.

But, you never did. I waited at my favorite chair, randomly switching channels and turn over to look at the clock every 5 mins. It was past 12. You should be back 30 mins earlier. I dialed your number for the 10th time. The beeping sounds continue to shriek into my ear. I left my 5th message and sighed. A chill ran through my spine. I am uneasy. Sweat starting to ooze out from my sweat glands.

Something's coming.

But I can't quite figured it out.

What is that.

Out of the blue, my phone rang. I grinned. Finally.
I pick it up. Disappointed. Not your caller ID.
I press the 'answer' nonchalantly.
"Hello?" I greeted.

I guess you know what's going to happen next.
Darkness roams.

2010-07-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

我来不及将记忆中的你消除了
我明白错过的从此难以负荷
如果眼泪能够证明我是爱你的
那么重新选择是不是来不及了
我来不及将你的手紧紧握着
对你说我只想要我们能快乐
曾以为少了你的陪伴不算什么
怎么我微笑着心却是痛的
我来不及将记忆中的你消除了
我明白错过的从此难以负荷
如果眼泪能够证明我是爱你的
那么重新选择是不是来不及了
我还是来不及了

我会想你的.

cringed

2010-07-18T00:25:00.000-07:00

I am feeling really bad now.
I have no luck with studies now.
Is really frustrating you know. I studied hard but still, when it comes to exam, all I did was staring at the question and cursing myself for not knowing what to do.
Everyone is doing pretty well. Wee Loon, Chun Yong.
What is my problem? I am getting worried about my STPM since there is like few months left and I kept failing my chemisty isn't a good thing. But the only good thing is that my biology is one of the top in the form but I will improve and strike my very best to maintain that position.

Study!
I shouted.
Don't give up.
I yelled.

I will make it through this shit. I won't let anyone looking down at me anymore.
I do have a particular small body but I have enough spirits and strength to take a big giant down.
I'll reclaim my position by myself. I will and I must.

Until then,
wish me best of luck.

Note : Ng Wee Loon, teach me chemisty lar!

The Second.

2010-07-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

It is happening again.

I am sick of myself. What did I do to deserve this?
Why can't just make my life goes round for at least this time.
I deserve a 4. A god damn it 4!
You gave me a 3. A 3 that just 2 steps away from 4.
Why the hell you wanna do that?
I am better. I am way better than those pseudo 4 and I hate them when they shove it in my face.
They are like "Hey, I am way better than you, sucker. A 4 in school doesn't mean anything, doesn't it? HAHAHA"

If I can choose to jump from a building, I am more willing to, rather than putting shame on myself.

Just stop asking me or else I will punch you in the face.

Gay

2010-07-06T06:15:00.000-07:00

Recently, I found out that a lot of people are abusing the word GAY.

Gay means
cheery: bright and pleasant; promoting a feeling of cheer
full of or showing high-spirited merriment
given to social pleasures often including dissipation
brave: brightly colored and showy
offering fun and gaiety
homosexual: someone who practices homosexuality; having a sexual attraction to persons of the same sex

Let me teach you, the correct way of using this word.

"That pants look so gay."
Correct. You are stating that wearing the pants makes you look GAY.

"I think he is gay.
Correct. Your assumption might be right.

Big Boy : "You wanna go watch a movie with me?"
Small Kid : "That's gay."
Correct. If you mean that you are looking forward to it.
BUT
Incorrect. If you are meaning two dudes going for a movie is gay unless you are having thoughts of doing sexual intercourse in cinema. That's different.

Two dudes going for a movie, is not gay.
Two dudes talking on a phone for >30 mins, is not gay.
Two dudes sleeping on the same bed and did not touching each other, is not gay.
Two dudes hugging each other, is not gay.
Two dudes saying I love you as a friend, is not gay.
If you think all these above is gay, you are not comfortable with your sexuality. I am sorry to break down to you, but, YOU might be GAY. LOL.

And I won't be blogging so frequent anymore.
And I won't be around internet so frequent anymore.
So, chill out guys. Enjoy your life.

Give & Take

2010-07-01T05:24:00.000-07:00

In your friends cycle, there is always a friend that gives a lot and a friend that takes a lot but there is also a friend that gives and take in the same rate.

A giving friend will always the one who got hurt the most. He/she gave in a lot, they are the one who kept the whole brotherhood/sister bond all together, they are the one who their friends turned into for advise, for fun, for study crisis. They won't turn down their request, he/she will try to solve it for their friends. They'll always be there, no matter what. Is hard to be a giving friend because you expect people giving back how much you gave out but in reality, that is not the truth.

The real thing is,
friendship is a holy bond created between two souls. Being one's friend, it means that you are in touch with his/her deepest soul, you have to accept what's inside the soul. In the end, friendship is just friendship, we can't measure it from the 'give & take'. If one is your true friend, no matter how, he/she will be the one standing on your side, fighting with you, and telling you "Mate, you're not alone. We are here for you!"

Dedicated to all my brothers and sisters! You guys are amazing. =)

Happy birthday Lim Zi Han, there's always an annual post around this time for you.

surprise belated birthday!

2010-06-26T21:39:00.000-07:00

Remember I said I am waiting for Benson & Alfred belated birthday surprise?
Well, I received it on yesterday. Ha!

Alfred called me on 5 o'clock asking me to go DP but I thought of rejecting because I am tired but hell, he didn't returning to Melaka for a long time so I agreed. At the time of 7.15pm, he called me again, saying that Alien wasn't able to go, so the trip canceled and later Benson's car banged a old lady car. ( I am so sorry for that. ) And then we decided to go for Old Town like always.

I arrived first so I took a seat. As I was playing with my cell, I looked up and saw two guys standing there, taking a peek and one of them holding a cake. I was like OH DAMN! I was caught off guard. They finally spotted me because I was able to camouflage with my shirt. Then, they sang birthday song and took some pictures and we talked about our recent life. Awed by Alfred's pure motivation and I am still slacking off.

So, I am going to propel forward even faster. LET'S SAIL FORWARD.
and THANK YOU MY BROTHERS! BENSON CHIANG & ALFRED KONG! I have a really awesome 19th birthday because of you guys!

Me and The Birthday Cake

It is weird to have a love in between. LOL

Wee wee! Group shot baybeh! Thanks for everything, peeps!

Now, I realized that I have everything. I won't denial or doubt anymore.

read at your own risk

2010-06-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

People do read my blog.
From best friends to not so good friends to total stranger, WOW.
Never knew I am that popular.
But here's a thing I need to speak about,

Whatever wrote on blog, stays on blog.

Of course, I know I wrote something that is upsetting in here but I don't wish people to go around and gossip. Is none of your business. And one more thing, a blog is like my open diary, I wrote what I like, if you dislike it, please, do click the close the tab or just get the hell out of here. Why make your life so suffer when you dislike it so much?

If a person badly treated you, treat him/her X10 nicer, because my friend, you are not the same like him/her.

This is my new quote. I actually did it you know and it worked! It actually made a person feel bad about himself/herself. Of course, he/she must have a certain level of kindness. If he/she don't, god bless you.

Ghost Stories of My School

2010-06-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

I have no encounter of any spiritual beings in my school for my total of 7 years in my school and I intended to keep it that way. But, I heard this complication of ghost stories from my friends and seniors.

Take #1
A friend of mine and her friend was using a girls toilet ( now it is closed and became a sports store room ). Her friend came out first, waiting outside of the toilet while my friend was still in the toilet stall. Suddenly, she can heard someone singing ( lightly ) of Theresa Teng's "Tian Mi Mi" and the ghostly voice echoing in the toilet. She quickly ran out and grab her friend ans speed away from the toilet as soon as possible.

Take #2
It is a PBSM camp night. Two of friends are in charge of getting something inside the school compound, so both of them went in to the field. Suddenly, my friend saw a white figure lingering around the girls toilet ( this was diff from toilet above ) and she motioned my another friend to see that. He quickly ushers the girl and both of them flee from the school.

Take #3
Urban legend. Someone told me that there was a staying over night in school and a boy went up to Form Five block and jumped down to the drain ( I think. They told me years ago. ). The boy said he saw a ghost trying to chase after him so he had no choice but jump.

Take #4
Urban legend. Someone told me that there was a boy hang himself to death on the tree near gents toilet and it haunted them. Hence, the tree was chopped off. ( Yes, the tree's root is still there )

Take #5
Urban legend and was told by a teacher. The reason why we are not allowed to cross the field unless instructed is because there are once a boy fall down on the field and it is after school, so a lot of people going back by walking across the field. After that, the boy was so sick and is way beyond by just falling down and got his head bumped. He claimed that there was a hand grabbing his leg. ( PS : That time I was Form 1 and they banned the walking on the field )

Take #6
As you know, every year there must be someone from our school died. In my Form Five year, there was a boy cut his head in order to prove that he wasn't stealing someone's handphone ( trust me, it is ugly. I can literally smell the blood when I pass through the classroom. ) and one of my friend passed away in an accident after school. So, negative aura much?

However, I have no encounter with this beings even I spent an overnight in our school during our camp night. We thought we saw it but, it just optical illusions. And I heard of the library ghost stories before but I forgotten it.

Oh, the gate of hell existed in our school? Which gate? That maybe is a bullshit or literally a truth. You can ask me and I'll tell you, privately of course. Till then, enjoy!

The 3 Spots That Girls Like in Guys

2010-06-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

So, we all know guys do check out girls butt, boobs and legs. ( That is kinda obvious )
Normal guys will said this,
"Wow, such tight ass!" or "WTF. See her breast! Double D!" or "That just wicked legs!"

How about girls? Yes, they are the same.
Girls check out guys chest, legs and butt. ( I never knew they like our butt too. ) With butt as the favorite spot.

Chest
A big broad muscular chest is a sign of a male is strong enough to protect of the female. When a girl hugs a guy with big chest, she will feels safe as the guy automatically shield her from the danger and take her under his wings. A big broad chest also enabling effective distribution of oxygen and allowing him to breathe more efficiently when running and chasing.

And no. Girls DO NOT like bodybuilders.

This is the ideal kind.

Legs
Men's legs are attractive to women as it is a symbols of masculine power and endurance. The long lengs and narrow hips allow him to run swiftly over distances to chase and hunt. As we evolved, the hunting part became unnecessary but the girls still inherit this thoughts from the ancestors to find her Mr.Right. Also noted that most women find male hips with a 90% waist-to-hips ratio the most appealing, meaning, your waist and your hips should not diff much.

Butt
Every girl is drooling over a small, compact butt of guys. Why? The small compact butt of a guy can make strong forward thrusting motion needed for successful sperm transfer during sex. A guy with fat or flabby ass usually throw his entire body weight into the thrust which disgust the girls as they feel uncomfortable.

As for me,
Chest - No
Legs - Maybe
Butt - YES! I do have girls commented on it. LOL.

Of course, I shall blog on what guys find girls attractive later.

june b'day celebration

2010-06-17T08:02:00.001-07:00

Well, I forgot to include this pictures taken during our class celebration party. So here goes.

I tend to bite my lips. Seriously. Is kinda like my signature move.

I am a joy. I am a peace. I am your seasonings in the sun. LOL

One fierce and mean family. Actor and actress from The Wilted Flower.

My present to Ah Toh.

I am with the hat given by Jeslyn and Hyingz.

Oh wait. What was that?

Is that Lady Gaga? OMG. Let's go GAGA!

Ooohhh Ooohhh Caught in a Gaga pose. Gahhhgahhh Oulalala, Want to be Gaga.

sleepover and some 19 pictures

2010-06-17T07:09:00.000-07:00

This holiday I been sleepover in Tony's house for 4 days.
God. I am starting to miss my bed! and my blanket of course.
I don't really do sleepover. This is only the sleepover I ever had. Why?
Because his parents are away.
I hate going friends house when there parents are around.
First, of course you have to address them "Aunty" "Uncle", even worst "Ah Ma" "Ah Gong"
or even worst than that, "Kor Kor" or your friends siblings which they never replied and stared at you like you're some sort of blob popping out of nowhere. ( Yes. I am sure they are shy/shock to reply. ) Sometimes, their parents didn't hear it and I have say it twice but sometimes twice is not enough, and then I felt awkward and didn't address anymore them which later they saw it as impolite.

Sleepover in Tony's house is quite fun. We played counter strike, left 4 dead 2, some online games and watching several movies together. Pretty much guys stuff. And played Truth or Dare with Tony and Samuel too.

Here's some pictures of my 19th birthday.

No. We are not praying. Okay. Maybe a lil bit.

Aw. I am cute. LOL

The present. Mine is on the left.

Last but not least, the group shot! Thanks guys.

Currently addicted to VV Brown - Shark in the Water. Featured in Degrassi Season 10 promo.
No. I don't watch Canadian TV Series.

presents!

2010-06-13T07:50:00.001-07:00

Hugs and kisses to all of you guys! Thanks!

19th Birthday Bash

2010-06-12T10:51:00.000-07:00

First of all, I don't have pictures here but I will try post it up if I came across those pictures. ( The uploaders are quite slow in uploading. )

8/6/2010
Our monthly birthday bash. Now I am the spotlight of the class, together with Ah Toh. We decided to go Dreambox as I requested and almost full attendance. LOL. It turned out to be good as everyone is singing and shouting and having buffet ( I don't eat much ). Then, the cake came. They sang birthday song. We cut the cake. Then open up our champagne that we won during our MUET night. I have to leave early as I have to attend my cousin's 21st birthday. I received gift from Kah Hui and Hui Shan. Is a cool hat by the way. I gave Ah Toh a mug with our class signing on it. I don't know if I offended anyone because is just really dumb if you do.

11/6/2010 - 12/6/2010
I was fully prepared but I was too early. ( I hate to be late ) so I took a nap in my Grams house because they said it starts at 7 but later to 8. I reached Jetty on time ( I think so. ) and met with Robin, Ah Fei, Kwan Song, Alvin and Ellen and her brother, Liang Khai came in and then Wee Sern and then Shaun. As the time strikes 10 something, Wee Loon, Sang Tuan and Kin Sum appeared with a cake. Sorry to tell you guys but I knew this was coming as a few people already gave me hints. LOL. Since my birthday is only diff with Alien slightly, so we shared our birthday bash. ( Two emos. LOL ) They even put their birthday card under the cake. OMG. I didn't see that coming. Thank you daddy Robin for doing this. They bought me and Alien gifts. It is a toilet coffee mug with our name on it. This is the best birthday bash I ever received, oh, I don't really have much. Hahaha. Thank you, Wee Sern, Kwan Song, Robin, Kin Sum, Wee Loon, Ellen, Alvin, Ah Fei, Shaun, Sang Tuan and Long Choy. And Alien, there is another surprise for you from me.

12/6/2010
Went shopping with Shaun as he needs to buy shirts. I used my relation with my co-worker ( she said is my birthday present. I thought she said she prepared gifts for me. LOL.) to get Shaun a discount. I don't really want to buy as I am overbudget. We watch The A Team together. I thought it is a great movie but it didn't quite reach my expectation. But it was still nice thou. After that, I go limteh with Seow Wei, Mahn Ling and Ah Chin. Ah Chin chosen me over his Fifa. LOL. We crapped for hours. I received gifts from Seow Wei they all and Ah Chin for my 'breakfast' dinner.

Thank you guys for giving such sweet memories. I will be waiting Benson Chiang's belated birthday surprise. LOL

A Journey to 19th

2010-06-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

12/6/1991 - I was born into this world. I cried as hard as I could. I am filled with uncertainties and fear.

1992 - One year old. I can walk and run. Enjoying how beautiful life is.

1993- Two years old. I honestly don't know what I can do back then.

1994 - Three years old.

1995 - Four years old. Have a new experience when Mum took care of cousin Lerri. A feeling of being a brother.

1996 - Five years old. Mum signed me up for kindergarten and I met my first love there. Her name is Carmen. We are like best friends, we will stick together no matter how. I think I hold her hands. This year marks the year I am the victim of bullying. Also, I break my jaw while jumping on bed, send to clinic for operation.

1997 - Six years old. The little kid with no obvious talent.

1998 - Seven years old. Starting my life as a student. I didn't cry on my first day of school. I was quiet and have no expression at all. People starting to give me stupid nicknames and bullied me. My family organized the best ever birthday party. The only party I only had throughout my life.

1999 - Eight years old. I was afraid of the 5th floor as they spread rumor about ghost wandering there. I noticed this year was short. It ended so quickly. Mum said she got cancer. ( I have no memories about it ). Mum fights her cancer. I remember the day she was back into home, her hands was connected to a blood filter machine ( looks like it ).

2000- Nine years old. Mum recovered from her cancer. My sister lost her life in an accident. A bus hit her motorcycle. I was turning into a bad person. I steal, I lie, I cheat. My mum gave me a lesson that I will never forget in my life.

2001 - Ten years old. The family was recovering from the lost. My elder brother got 4 flat in his STPM. A friend of my brother became my maths teacher and I was accused of molesting my friend. ( It was an accident. I swear. )

2002 - Eleven years old. Nothing memorable happened.

2003 - Twelve years old. Represent my school to participate on Chinese Knowledge stuff. Facing UPSR. Got 4As and 3Bs. Have a crush on someone, we are almost there but never quite reach there.

2004 - Thirteen years old. Became a student on GBS. I was the outsider. I have no friends. People starting to pick on me. I felt like a loner.

2005 - Fourteen years old. I hate my life. I don't understand why people can have friends but I don't. Still beaten by bullies.

2006 - Fifteen years old. I met all of my best friends here. My life starting to change. I became more happier. The happiest moment in my school life. Scored 7As in PMR. Mum was happy. She was happy because I proved I am better. Told a girl that I like her.

2007 - Sixteen years old. Got into first class and listen to I AM SICK OF YOU ALL for the whole year. Sat in the airplane and flies to Macau and Hong Kong. Having fun in Disneyland. Starting to develop a crush on someone. Mum diagnosed with cancer.

2008 - Seventeen years old. Mum passed away. She asked me to take care of the family. Couldn't stop crying in the night when the dark consumed my soul. My study was getting better. A girl from my past wants to begin a relationship with me. Fought SPM with my fellow classmates. The friends I miss the most.

2009 - Eighteen years old. Got a job in Padini Concept Store. Met a lot of people. Received my SPM result. 9As and 2Bs. Watching my best friends left to further their study. Ended up in Form Six which I intent to escape. How funny fate is. Have the most sad birthday ever.

2010 - Nineteen years old. Dad yelled at me and said that if Mum was here, it will be better. My heart bleeds. Received the worst result ever, failed two subjects. 26 and 35. Speechless. ( The future has not cast in stone )

I really want to make things right. But somehow, I sank even more.

MUET Night

2010-06-06T03:02:00.000-07:00

Finally, the night had gone.
In here, I want to say sorry for people I had hurt. Especially my classmates.
I want to say thank you for my classmates and related person for helping our MUET night.
Thank you Jeslyn Kah Hui for making this drama a success. She is the one who has pouring all her efforts in. Love you!
Thank Long Choy for making this night wonderful and Yeet Chin for lending her house for our Bad Romance dance. Thank you my fellow 'Monster' dancer and Da Jie's friend Audrey for filming the whole drama.

Even though we got 3rd place in the performance but for me, we are the best of all. Unlike any other performance, we are quite messed up because we never had a chance rehearsal on the stage ( someone used their power and uses the stage for quite a handful of time. ) so a lot of times we are acting by our reflexes. Scenes like Dai Lou and his followers going for restaurant are actually messed up as Ah Flower wasn't ready to come out so they quickly response and counteract. And kudos to Da Jie who added some funny scenes on the stage, Ah Ma for being so mean and Chai Yuen being so funny. Xue Khang acting as a woman are actually a feat to beat.
Our drama is the only drama that involved all of our classmates. Everyone has a chance performing on stage. ( Exclude Si Mei, she served as music supervisor. )

I like Physics 2 dance drama. I think it should won, do you know how much time and effort they put into this? They have to learn 2 dances. That's something. I also like the Physics 3's fighting scene. It was down right funny. I pity them as they have to move their settings back and fourth. Oh, good props!!!

Last but no least, our Gaga's dance!!!! Is kinda last minute thing so it wasn't that perfect but hell, we did have a lot of shit fun. We painted our nails black and have some makeup on. Oh, at least I had did something in my teen's life that I will appreciate for my whole life.

Videos will be up soon. Physics 2 and our class drama. I wanted to upload our Bad Romance but it is too huge and is really hard to compress. But, I will do it real soon.

Until then, let's work our way to STPM.

present

2010-06-04T10:50:00.000-07:00

First of all,
I want to thanks those people who wanted to give a surprise but ended being shot.
I don't need a present as long I know you guys truly treat me as your dear friend. Don't care about what others think, they just thought that everyone is so close minded.

Anyway,
Thank you Cousin Wen for the birthday present!! Is a black/brown wallet. Well, I been using my current wallet for like 3 years and it starting to torn, pieces by pieces, and my cousin is so intuitive, she brought me a new one! Another cousin said she is buying a new watch for me but I have to wait for awhile due to certain circumstance.

bros before hoes

2010-05-31T08:11:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of the saying 'bros before hoes'? How many people can actually committed to that part?
I hate friends when they got a girlfriend/boyfriend, everything must revolving around him/her.
They just spent all their time around them and ignore us, even just a short hang out they rejected.
And their bf/gf are so control freak and they disallowed to hang out. Weird.
I am sure I am not that kind of person. I mean, I value my friendship very high. They are my everything.

I am so blessed to have best friends that cares.
Maybe they aren't showing it from the outside but from the inside, I really saw their heart. I am so touched man. I have no reasons to complain. They are with me through thick and thin. They comforted me when I am sober. They share my happiness with me. They taught me a lot things. I love you guys!!

dedicated to chin chun yong, ng wee loon, ngoh seow wei, chong mahn ling, benson chiang and alfred kong.

she's just not that into you

2010-05-29T11:42:00.001-07:00

Continued...

"Can't believe we are in the same club." I said when she sat beside me after she reached here.
"Yea. Is good to see a familiar face in here." She winked.
My heart is stirred. Somehow, I think I am living in a dream that I am not willing to wake up from.
"I think we have a lot in common." I meant it.
She turned to me and put a light smile and said "Me too."

Soon, we became close.
We have the same music sense. We both disliked catchy pop songs.
We shared our drama series. Discussing the synopsis and plot.
We talk about our dreams, our unbecoming, our life.
She is the one. She is the one I been looking for. I told myself.
I thought girls like her are extinct. The one with a good taste of music, not some girls go crazy for some idol they don't know even know who they are. The one who watches good quality tv show, not some stupid retard old plot that was unrealistic. The one with the charming smile, good grace and a stand out personality.
Seriously, can you find a girl like that?

As we walking down the street in our school, I look at her.
I want her to be mine. I want to hold her dear little hands. I want to take her into my hug. I want to kiss her in the lips.
Unexpectedly, I reached out to hold her hands. Her dear little hands.
I caught her off guard. She looked back to me. She wasn't withdrawing her hands nor going to make a fuss. I don't know what's running in her head but I know, I shouldn't let go.
"I want to tell you something, Beth." I was determine.
She didn't move. She was waiting for it.
"I love you. I can't breath without you. I ... I just love you. Everything inside of you."
She stood still. Her facial expression is blank.
"Would you..." I draw her closer to me. "...be my girlfriend?"
We are now face to face to each other. I could hear her breathe and her heartbeat. Lup dup. Lup dup.
"Yes." She smiled. "Yes." She repeated. "Yes." She repeated yet again.
I let her slip into my protection. Arms wrapped around her. The hug of happiness.

I love her.
I seriously do.

The End of Part 1.

freedom

2010-05-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

I don't have.
But that doesn't mean anything.

I have learn how to see things differently.
I will pursue my own happiness if that's what I want.

I take matters to my own.
I decide my own fate.

I will make my world go round.
Not you, not my family, not my friends.
This is my life.
I get to choose who I wanna be and who I wanted to be.

That's truly, the Vince Schwoyxer's method.

Freedomnism.

Happy Teacher's Day

2010-05-27T02:11:00.000-07:00

Of being a 7 years old GBS student, Teacher's Day is actually our holiday but this time,
FULL ON, FUN MODE.

There is a little drama of doing this event ( like always. )
However, we did put it out and BANG! we are the most outstanding class of ALL!!!
Thanks to Kah Hui and Cheng Aik.

Here's the picture
There's a total of 14 dishes ranging from fried mihun, fried mee, nasi pulut, french fries, chicken curry, sausages, fried chicken and many more.

Pn.Chow home made pumpkin cake. OMG. Thanks Pn.Chow for making this for us. And also the free drinks. YOU ARE THE BEST!!

Ah Kee's home made jelly!!!!!!! But I never tried it. Ha!

My idea for decorating the class. I outlined the word and the love, the rest was Ah Toh's contribution.

Of course, we play in class. LOL.

This is like the human puzzle, we reached out our hand and we tried to solve it by moving in an out. It is so fun and addictive.
The old chinese game, lotus. We hold hands to form a circle and the person inside trying to break the bond. This picture demonstrate our potential lover in our class.
A.E.I.O.U I have weird poses. The last pic was funny.

Happy family

exam

2010-05-13T06:06:00.000-07:00

It's been a really uptight, dramatic and tired week.
Exam is like around the corner and I am still not well prepared yet. I don't wanna fail anything right now. I always bounce back from where I fall but in Form Six, I been doing nothing but disaster, so I don't know what's gonna hit me but I'll try my best, stay focus and beat the impossible.

I am more coming in terms with myself lately and I feel comfortable with my skins. Hope I can pull it out yet again.

mothers day

2010-05-08T06:52:00.000-07:00

how does it feels when you're mum is gone?

Have you ever think of this? I used to be one of you. When I came back home, there is always someone asking how did you today, preparing lunch and dinner, nagged you when you're not cleaning your room. Is been 2 years, 2 damn long years. When things starting get better, IT took her away. Not fair. Not fair at all. I used to tell her, "Don't go. I haven't finished my SPM yet." She said "I have to go and you'll promise me you'll do your best in your test." In the end, she didn't make it. I don't know whether I make her proud or not. I am sure my brother and sister did but I am not. I am always the black sheep of the family. She worried about me because I am too naive, too protected, too coward. But she knew, I have changed. I changed so much that she barely can see the old me.

Sometimes, when I woke up from my sleep, I am still searching for the same voice that nudged me to wake up but now, everything is silent and dead. I don't like this at all. She used to wake up early in the morning and prepare breakfast for me, accompany me to the bus stop to wait for bus, come to get me when there is pouring rain outside, giving me advises, propel me forward in study, taught how to be a good human being.

Is been a harsh 2 years. I took up her role in the family and people are being merciless. They slashed me with their claws. But I will never back down because she had taught me how to fend off those deathly beast. She counts on me, that's why she left, because she knew that I can handle this. I can handle this. I can handle this.

Thank you, mum. I miss you so much.

she's just not that into you

2010-05-05T08:14:00.000-07:00

Before I begin this, please listen to the music I selected for you guys.
And remember I mentioned I was working on a story? Too bad I am not going to finish it due to unspeakable reasons. Here is the draft that I wrote throughout the weeks. Enjoy.

She’s Just Not That into You

I never quite understand why I am doing this but, at least, I feel at ease. The breezing wind had clamed me down; the sun had showered me with his love and the sky is awfully blue and mesmerizing. And here I am, sat in the roof of my school, not some random roof but there’s a girl got killed in here last year, THE ROOF.

“You just, too good for me.” Out of the blue, her voice echoed in my heart, again. Yes, again. This is the thing that revolved inside my head for the past few days, her voice just popping out here and then, I couldn’t control it, is like it has life in its own. I stood up, take a step forward, I am that close to the edge of the roof. I am not afraid. I am ready to do it. I have to release all the negative energy that I been holding on for so long. Is time…

4 months ago.

“Oh, check out that girl!!! W-O-W!!” Ruffy exclaimed while pointing at the girl that walked pass through them.
“Oh shit. These new lower six girls are so freaking hot!!” Flex said the truth. These newcomers did bring the whole adrenaline pumping for the guys. Everyone you saw, boom boom boom, all model-ish. This is heaven.
Well, let me brief about what is going on before you went totally lost.
These two guys are my best buddies in the world. Ruffy, the athlete in our school, earned the title ‘flying legs’ by many. Someone said “He looks rather flying than running. His foot wasn’t stepping in the field, he was flying through it.” Oh well, he’s the typical jock, tall, fit and good looking. Flex, on the other hand, belongs to the cool guys cliché. Every girl goes gaga over him. In contrast of his appearance, he is rather warm and caring. And here we are, standing near our school hall, checking out new generation for Form Six or new girls if you wanna put it that way. Today is the first orientation day for them, so we did a little bit sight seeing, you know, a pretty girl a day makes a happy day.

As those two are discussing which girls are hotter, my mind drifted off and went looking in the crowd. Wait, there is a girl, in the centre of a huge gang of girls. Who is she? She has this pale radian skins that seems glowing when the light hits her skin. Her long silky hair tied into a ponytail and her eyes, her brown eyes is like a diamond, shining towards me. Am I staring at perfection?

“Hey dude. Dude. DUDE!!” Ruffy snapped his fingers to catch my drifted attention.
“What?!” I am forced to look away from her. I am frustrated.
“Recess time is over man. We got to hurry go back to class.” Ruffy leads the way.
I turned over again to look, she was gone. Like a wind.

“Ring!” The school bell rang, indicating that school is over. I quickly bounce up and clean up my things and rushing out from my class. After my little encounter with this Greek goodness, her image kept popping out in my head. I couldn’t concentrate on what is been taught by teachers but rather thinking on how I get near to her. I ran faster. I couldn’t lose her. Everyone on the sideway was staring me like I am sort of weirdo. I don’t care. I just wanted to see her again.

I reached the hall, gasping for more air. There are only few students left and, she is not part of them. I sighed. I felt like my energy has been drained out. Shit. I sat on the bench near the entrance of the hall. Frustrated. Why I reacted like this? This isn’t the regular me. Oh god.

“Pierre!!!!!!” A loud familiar voice shouted behind my back.
“What the hell you been doing? You should be waiting for us.” No surprise, Ruffy rushed to my front, questioning my out of order behavior.
“I…I…I have to…erm…see Mr. Fat T.” I blurted out. Ruffy puzzled. He doesn’t really convinced by me.
“Hey, why are you guys still standing here? I am hungry. C’mon, let’s move.” Flex appeared out of no where. Ruffy dropped the conversation and reaching out his hand and grab me out of my comfort seat. I took a glance into the hall and left.

“I found you. I found you…” There are the words describing what actually felt. Here I am, lying on my favorite spot of all time, my bed and listening to my mp3. The track on play is Luluc – I found you, my current favorite song. It seems like her image is popping out here and there on my head. When I drive, I think of her. When I shower, I think of her. Even when I taking a short nap on the afternoon, I dreamed about her. Is this what they called love on the first sight? Did it even exist? I tried to search her up in Facebook, but I got no name, no details, nada, nada.

Well, at least my cousin Robin is doing great in University. He just posted in my Wall saying that he will be back on this Saturday. I wish I could be more like him. Tall, wise and good looking. He once had a girlfriend named Elizabeth who is quite stunning. But she is better. She is way better.

I yawned. I feel tired. I closed my eyes and rocked to sleep by thinking of her.

I think I am in love. How silly is that.

I am officially a stalker. I am standing here again, in front of the hall and waiting her to appear. The crowd in the hall is getting bigger but she is no where to be seen. Please. I want to see her again.

“Hey, brother, you are not supposed to be here. Please head over to the field and line up.” A young prefect came into my side and nudged me. I glared against him. Cheapskate. I moved away from the hall, in a slow pace. My head kept turning back to the hall, hoping she will jump into the scene. And then…

“Ouch!!” I accidentally bumped into someone and she shouted in pain.
“I am so….” I turned my focus back and said my apology, before I can finish it. It is her. The girl I been thinking about all day and night. The girl.
She looked at me, puzzled. Oh lord. She is looking at me. What should I do? What should I do? Should I shake her hand? Wait, I bumped into her, suppose I should say sorry. Fuck. Will this leave a bad impression?
Before I can say anything or particular say anything, she walked past me. I am stoned. I can smell her hair scent. It is raspberry. And, I am standing here again, watching her disappear from my eye sight.

Well, at least, I bumped into her. That’s something.

“Hey.” Flex nudged me.
I turned my head to my side.
“Something is bothering you.” Flex is so intuitive and sometimes, it is so freaking scaring.
“Errr. Yea.” I answered.
“Mind to share?” He asked politely.
“Well, there is a girl.” I said with a smile.
“Oh, girl issue huh. Nice one, bro.” He laughed.
“Shut up.” I laughed too.
“So, who is she?” He questioned with curiosity.
“I don’t know her name but she is in the new batch of Form Six.” I answered.
“You bastard.” He poked my shoulder. “Okay, as a fully supportive brother, I will assist you on the quest on finding out who is she.”
“How are you going to do that?” I asked.
“Dude, don’t you know I have a cousin in this new batch of Form Six? I can bride her to finding out more.” Flex grinned.
“But, how you know which girl I am talking about?” I asked curiously.
“Trust me man. I have been friends with you for years. Of course I know.” He explained.
“You know, I always love you.” I smiled.
“Please don’t be so gay. Ha!” He said.

“Mr. Chin and Pierre, I hope that you two can stop talking in my class and concentrate on your math’s tutorial class.” Mr. Haw sent out his warning.

And we laughed. Quietly.

It was after school, the trio lined up on the corridor, waiting the time for their after school activity to start. The heat waves hit the atmosphere; everyone can feel the heat crept into their body causing their sweat glands to respond. But this is not affecting me at all. I am more eager to know her name, other than that, I am through.

“C’mon, tell me!!!” I demanded. Flex was toying with me. He refused to share the information that he gathered. Both of my best friends laughed hysterically. Oh well, at least they are having fun. “Well well, looks like our cute little boy has flown right into a Venus trap.” Ruffy sarcastically said. “At least I am not digested yet. You are. Ha!” Our group survived with sarcastic comments, without it, it felt weird and awkward, is like angel without wings. “Here it is.” Flex handed me a small piece of torn up paper. I grabbed it in a split second and read it. I smiled.

“Please don’t do that. You look creepy.” Ruffy said. “Shut up.” I said with a joking manner. Deep down in my heart, I was over the top, I am in cloud nine. I never felt so happy before. Now, I am a step further to getting know her. Here I come, Annabeth Suh.

I sat in front my computer, frozen. In my head, there is only one question revolving, that is, should I add her or not? I stopped by in her facebook profile, thanks to Flex cousin’s help; I was able to track down her profile. I checked through her info and her pictures. The good news is that she is single. Yea! She is hot. Yea! She is funny. Yea! Yea! Yea!
Should I click it? Did I sound like I am a stalker? What I am to say to her? Hi, I am the guy that bumped into you and I think you’re an interesting person, so I added you? Lame.
I took a deep breath. “Let’s do it. Never try never know.” I said to myself. I slide my mouse to the ‘add as friend’ button, no second thought, I clicked it.

Now, I have to wait anxiously.

30 minutes later …

I checked my inbox every minute. No reply. She turned me down? Maybe she hasn’t sign in yet. I just have to wait. The more I waited the more paranoid I am getting. Thousands and thousands of possibilities ran through my head. She hates me. Possible. She dislikes me. Also possible. She thinks I am a weirdo. Definitely possible. I couldn’t settle down. Everything goes awry. I am in a fiasco situation.

“Ting Tong. You’ve Got Mail.” I received an e-mail. Is it? I quickly opened my browser and check through my mailbox. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She accepted my friend request. Wow!! I screamed in happiness. Yes! Yes! Yes! I did it!!! “Ting Tong. You’ve Got Mail.” Wait. Another mail? I refreshed the page and I couldn’t believe it. I pinched my left cheek and praying hard this is not a silly dream. I felt pain. This is real. She talked to me! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! This is my lucky day!!! I motioned my mouse and opened the mail, she posted on my wall.

Annababy Beth Aren’t you the senior in my new school? The one bumped to me today?

So, she does remember me. Oh wow!!!!

Pierre Luke Yea. That’s me. I am so sorry.
Annababy Beth It is okay. I walked past you when you about to say it. I am the one should be sorrying. I was late for the orientation. Oh wait, you followed me until here for my apology?
Pierre Luke Of course not! I just found your page and you look familiar.
Annababy Beth Oh, that’s good. That’s good. Hey, I think our Form Six Advisor is really a pain in the ass. Don’t cha think?

And we went on chatting and chatting until she was late for bed time. Awesome! I am feeling good. It is a good start!

It’s been a week. Our sweet talking in Facebook lasts longer than I thought. She would always come and commented on my post, status and even pictures. But I never have such luck to see her in school. I am tangled up with extra classes and overloaded homework in this week. Damn. But, at least, she is in Biology Class 1 too. Finally, we have something common with. Yay!

“Pierre, come back please.” Flex snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Oh, sorry.” I apologized. “When are those successor of English Club are going to arrive? Is rude to have your seniors waiting. Hmph.” I complained.
“Patience.” Tuan blurted out. He is kinda in a Zen mode now.
“Guys, there they are!!” Lorraine pointed out to the field. Everyone is well alerted and rushing to the window to see the young faces.

In the front of the team was Mdm Tan, the bitchy teacher was leading the whole group of new English Club members. Everyone in the class stirred. “Oh look Pierre!!! Your Anna is in there too!” Ruffy shouted out loud. It took me off guard, my eye sight went into searching mode and ‘kak ceng’, target locked. She was walking in the middle of the group, laughing with her few friends. She looks so fine, so fresh, and so fabulous. “Oh God. One scary coincidence.” Flex whispered.

outings

2010-05-02T02:43:00.001-07:00

30/4/10 Friday 2.00pm

Badminton with my classmates. I thought my badminton skills suck but there is a lot of people worst than me. LOL. Actually I am ashamed of my badminton skills since I am a kampung kia. You know, we play this games all the time when we're little. All my cousins, at least, qualified to be school representative but not me.

30/4/10 Friday 9.30pm

I went out with my mates. Ah Chin fetched me to DP to watch Ip Man with Wee Loon. Due to Wee Loon needs to accompany his gf, we two had to spent some quality time together. I shop with Ah Chin to find his bag because his bag is torn and then we walk around. Wee Loon came and we dine in Old Town. I was very tired that time because I just finish playing badminton and doing heavy house chores on that day, I didn't get enough rest. Ip Man is awesome. No doubt. But I pity both my mates. I don't intended to be emo ( I was tired btw, not emo ). Hope I don't ruining everything.

1/5/10 Saturday 7.00am

Went to fetch Wee Loon to go for Charity Walk. Walk along side with my daddy, Robin and Wee Sern. Having fun with appearance of Long Choy with his British accent. Then, I rot.

1/5/10 Saturday 7.30pm

I am late for our class outing. I need more time for my grooming. LOL. I went to fetch Soo Ling and stuck in traffic for like 30 minutes. Arrived in Station 1. Eating the awesome salad chicken maryland. Playing games with my classmates. And then, the b'day cake came, the b'day sang. We almost makes Hui Shan cries ( She said so. I am not sure. She is like no expression at all when we gave her the present.) Going back by fetching 5 girls. Yes, my car was full with girls. Awesome. LOL.

I am going to be on super saiyan mode now for my mid term.
And, tell me, should I do a birthday party?

2010-04-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

Just want to tell you guys that

CHIN CHUN YONG is AWESOME!!

He knows me well. HAHA

thoughts

2010-04-26T07:11:00.000-07:00

Can someone hugs me and tell me everything is okay?

I am starting to wish I had a younger brother with a small age difference.
At least, I have someone to talk to in my house. I can talk shit to him and we fight. Ah, fun times.
And he will tell me his problems and I laugh at him but teach him how to cope with the situation.
I'll be not lonely at least. I can tag him along for movies, I can ask him to the whole house chores, I can ask him buy foods for me to eat.
I jealous for those who had a close siblings. Me and my two brothers are very distant. Maybe is the age difference. He lives in the 80's and I live in the 90's. We don't talk much. Sigh~

The reason I don't want a younger sister is girls are troublesome. I have to constantly make sure she is not cheated by horny boys and cope with her monthly mood swings. And girls is hard to control. But this doesn't apply to my girlfriend because, I love her. XD

catalog

2010-04-25T05:43:00.000-07:00

I always wondering why I can mingle with my best friends. I mean, I am like so different from them.

The Soccer Club
The most outstanding BFFs of all time. Team consisted of Mr. Lim, Mr. Chin and Mr. Ng. Those three are super football craze, futsal players and played soccer when they are free. Well, I am obviously lack of sports gene. I can't run faster, I can't jump higher, I can't kick harder, I can't smash harder. I kinda left out when they talk about whats up in the soccer land. I was like huh? what? hee? But lucky, they seem to reduced it to min when they are around me. Considerate much?

The Music Club
My limteh and hang out BFFs!!! We share the joy and sorrow together. Members consisted of Mr. Teh, Mr. Chiang and Mr. Kong. Oh yes, all three of them are able to play musical instrument. Alien plays "er hu", Benson plays guitar and Kong plays piano. I am the odd man out. I only play flute when I was in primary and I suck. I always scared when I was summon to perform solo and oh, it was miserable. So, they can form their own band and I can't do anything at all. Lucky, I have my own sense of music and recently I improved on my singing. I still don't know why they don't ask me to write lyrics. C'mon, emo lyrics is awesome!

The Bitch Club
All hail all of my girl friends. Remarkable bitches : Miss Ngow, Miss Chong, Miss Oh, Duri Dalam Bunga members and others. Tell me, are you kepok? Yes I am kepok. That's why I can talk crap with them but girls have their own secrets. So, some conversations are girls rated like PMS. LOL.

The Counselling Club
The people I talk with when I am sad. Listeners consists of Mr. Low, Mr. Yong, Mr Fong and Miss Tan ( Tan Si Mei, is you!!! Happy birthday yo!!!! ) ( Of course, all My BFFs are part of my listeners.) Well, this group is rather diverse so I can't talk much. They are very caring person and I will go to them if I need to vent something out ( Especially Robin and Kin Sum )

The Shaun Club
Oh god, Shaun. I wanted to put you in soccer but I guess you are better in here. Do come to my house often and don't left any pencil case for me to pick up for you. =)

Although all the difference, I can still mingle with them and this proven how versatile I am. LOL.
PS : I love you people. ( Yes, I am very passionate )

mohawk

2010-04-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

So, everyone in school pretty much saw my mohawk.
and everyone, as usual, asked me WHAT THE HELL is going on.
LOL. Even Hui Shan said she is so not used to the new look and she thought I am somebody else.
Okay, it came to this.
Why I did this? The reason is very simple. I woke up someday, look into the mirror then BOOM, the thought came right into my head and I took up my hair sprayer and did the damage.

Well, there are very contrasting views on my mohawk.
Some like Wei, XK, Yuen and others don't quite like the change. They prefer the emo fringe thing.
Others like Hui Shan, Kah Hui, Long Choy, Ah Yong said nice and commented that I look more sunshine ( okay, this is not the exact word. )
I am kinda torn right now.

Well, let just see how I turned out to be with a mohawk.
Now, let me bring out my old emo fringe.
What do you think?

2010-04-19T05:16:00.000-07:00

I hate it when people pointed at you and whisper about you.
For me, I think is kinda rude unless you're identify someone by pointing him/her.
Why have to whisper someone's bad things? Does it makes you superior?
Cheapstake.

when i am young

2010-04-17T05:42:00.000-07:00

One week to MUET!!
I hope I can done well in writing. My writing sucks. Argh.
Well, I just need more time on the speaking part. I need more practice.
My target is Band 4. So, lets pray hard and hope nothing goes wrong.

Remember friendster?
LOL. Here is some pictures of mine I took long ago. Gosh. I am so ugly last time.

Fifteen

Sixteen. Duri Dalam Bunga Legendary and Rockers.

Seventeen. The Trio Backdoor.

Some classic shots I did.

Robin cute looks last time.

I am sorry of the pictures took up a large space. Friendster don't allow me to download photos.

This is the real MUET

2010-04-15T05:22:00.000-07:00

Part 1

Listen to this talk ah and then fill out the blank k? Gambateh!!

Kiranjit : Eh Maya! You know this ah 3R of education or not? My daughter Susu oh, her teacher ah, was talking about this dunno what 3R in class leh!

Maya : Aiya, 3R you also dunno? There, the first 2 Rs are reading and writing lor. The other is arithmetic. There 3 things dunno they call 3Rs of education lor.

Kiranjit : Really ah? 3Rs very important meh?

Maya : Aiya, of course lar. If don't have this 3Rs ah, you cannot live leh. Tell you lar, now ah, you can use computer to learn 3Rs d.

Kiranjit : Eh, you siao ah? 3Rs and computer got connection meh? You don't simply talk ah, I tell you.

Maya : Aiyo, you very sua ku leh. Now ah, using computer learning 3Rs can help you use computer more better leh. This is also another R lor. The ang mo call dunno what computer literacy.

Kiranjit : Walao, still got another R ah? Eh, you sure computer can use to learn 4Rs mah? I don't think ah, computer can better than our traditional way lor. I think ah, those 'gi na' play computer can lar, ask them study using computer, you sit there and wait lar.

Maya : You memang stupid leh. You can go visit this www.weread.org. This site very good wan, and wor, managed by We Read, sure can make your Susu go there and study.

Kiranjit : Waliu wei!! You must tell me early mah this website. Eh, inside got what?

Maya : This website ah, got different sections. Got kids section lar, got those learning games lar, got teenagers section lar and got parents section lor.

Kiranjit : Wah, heard also know very nice. Eh, thank you ah. I later go back force my Susu go there see.

Now ah, I give you 1 minute to answer those question. Faster a bit. Got a lot lor!

wildcard

2010-04-13T08:16:00.000-07:00

Oh, today is a very interesting day.
First, I decided to do a blood test and they have to take my blood sample. It was fun and painful actually. I couldn't believe my blood is so healthy, it kinda sprouts out when the guy pulled out the needle and my blood splashes against the table napkin and my school pants. And then, I have to take my urine sample, urgh. Now, I am having second thoughts on whether I should donate my blood next week. First, I am not mentally ready. ( But my physical is. ) Secondly, I don't want to feel the pain. ( Imagine they have to suck 450 out of you. ). The conclusion is, I think I am donating blood because I am an O+. I can save people with my blood. ( kak cheng! )

And, finally, people come and talk to me about this MUET night. I mean finally! For all this while, they kept silence and now they starting to tell me their thoughts. This is what I wanted all along. I been asking opinions and opinions and you refuse to give one. So finally, some overview on what's going on. Yeap, I did learn something through this conversation. I apologize for all those people I accidentally hurt before. I guess I am too stress out BUT that's doesn't mean you guys are right. You still didn't memorize the lyrics and no excuses can be accepted. I think I can pull this out. I just need a wildcard! Wildcard!

2010-04-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

I think is about time I finally wrote something happy.
I am happy by the way. Those little incidents doesn't affect me much. I am prone to that.
I just wonder why they hate singing so much? I mean hello, people do pay to sing. Why wasting money to go for KTV while we can sing along in class? Singing is fun. It express yourself, express your feelings.

70's

2010-04-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

Chill. Love. Peace.

She's Just Not That Into You Take 1 - The Encounter will be uploaded soon. Unlike previous writing, I finished the whole chapter before posting in here, so it will be long. Hope you guys like it.

lim zi han

2010-04-02T20:31:00.000-07:00

If Mr Ng changed my future, Mr Chin earned my trust and Mr Lim is the one who make me, me. Oh brother, do you think I'll go down without you? Naive.

Do you know that our first actual conversation is masturbation? He came over and sat beside me during Chinese lesson and talked about masturbation. ( Okay, I think he make fun of it. ) Next year, Form 3, I was assigned to sit beside this dude. At first, I was like WHAT?! I don't like it. I couldn't remember the first time we sat together, the only thing I remembered is that I have a lot, a lot of my happy times when he is around me. He is very funny and with the combo with Joanne, they make the funniest people on earth. It turned out that he is very supportive, like when I scolded by Robot Cop, my legs are like shaking and he reached out and try to hold my legs still. ( Remember when Robot Cop checking through our first monthly result and bashing everyone in the class?) He is cheerful and knows how to lighten up the atmosphere. So, I have a blast sitting beside him and he doesn't know that how much I am grateful of it.

He changed my life actually. I am used to be some random lonely nerdy boy in the class where people say EH? WHO'S THAT? but after being part of his life, I have a lot of friends that willing to walk beside me. So, no zi han means no chun yong & wee loon.

Oh, we used to have late night calls after our PMR. LOL. But we never did again after we proceeded to Form 4. I miss it.

So, don't worry, Mr Lim Zi Han, you'll always have me no matter what. ( But not football thou ) and don't cry because of this. Hahaha

dissection

2010-04-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

It was a bright shining day.
"Oh god, this place is so crowded. Why the fuck we are put into this blue box with so a lot of people. Gosh, I can't even breath!!!" Bernie said.
"Help, I think someone shit on my back!!" Leng Lui yelled.
"HEY GUYS!!!!!! I think Laura is going to deliver her kids!! Lord, her vagina is pooping out!! Eww, the babies is pushed out. Ew. Ew. Ew." Ruffy screamed with excitation.
Suddenly, a black figure opened the box.
"Thank god you're here. Hey, take me out this sucker place, I, as the princess of the ratty world should be treated well!!" Bernie stood up.
The figure grabbed her up and put her into a big giant container.
"Hey, what is this. HEYYYYYY. YOU FUCKING RETARD!!!!!! Wait, I...I...I feel sleepy." and then, she was passed out.

Okay, I hope you guys enjoy the intro I wrote. So, I arrived in bio lab, dressed like going a huge surgery, I was like so happy and excited to do this dissection, let just put it THE CLIMAX OF A BIO STUDENT. I couldn't focus on the instruction given, all I want is to get my rat and snap her beautiful skins apart. ( I am psycho. ) Well, Pn Goh finds out that there is babies being delivered and the mother was put into chlorofoam and the babies will not survive as there is no mammary glands to feed them, so, we was committed a lot of sins on there. After announcing is time to dissect, I quickly rushed to the place, open up the bin and paused. There is like a huge pile of rats!! Chia Chun took over and took up a rat, I held it. I was kinda freaked out because I can felt his/her warm and then I distribute those rats to everyone and I was settle with Bernie aka THE BIG FAT GIRL WITH SHIT ON HER ANUS. Everyone don't want Bernie because she is huge and she has shit, so, I had to took her. I carried her to the basin, wash her up, push her shit out and put her on a dissecting tray.
I obtained my scalpel and scissors, asking Mok to record my dissection but it was Si Mei who did the recording. I cut over her furry skins, it was hard to cut open. After you are able to cut it open, it should be appeared like this.
That wasn't Bernie thou. And then, I cut over her dermis aka the reddish skin. And this is Bernie with no skins.
Right after that, we have to shift her organs left and then right to see her veins, her digestive system and etc.
FYI, Bernie was not dead during dissecting, you can clearly see the heart is still beating in the following video ( click the link ) and I accidentally cut her vein, hence the bloody hand.
http://www.facebook.com/schwoyxer?v=app_2392950137&ref=profile#!/video/video.php?v=1105878025074

At last, we put them back into formalin.
Oh no. This wasn't the end. The very next week, ( this week ) we took the bodies out and extracted their hearts out to observe the structure.
And then we have to extract the oesophagus, trachea and the lungs out. This whole process is the hardest of all. First, we have to cut open the rib cage until we can see their pharynx and we cannot damage any blood vessels, so we have to extra careful. And then, we have to put all those 'things' out, jeez, it required a lot of handy work.

After this, we have to chop their head off. Yes. CHOP THEIR HEAD OFF. You can watch how I did it.

Note : It might be slow but is awesome.

Again, I am fooling around.
I am a psycho.
But I am happy. =)
Next week, I'll show you guys the brain!!!! Excited right?

Anyway, here is some pictures you must see.
Chen Kuan rat's has BABIES!!!!!
Angeline's rat ate a baby!
All together. Unite as one. U6Bio1 rocks!

updates

2010-03-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

I changed my template.
And it took 30 mins to edit my template. ( This is the fastest record. )
I updated my songs ( it took almost an hour to find a suitable player. )
Warning : songs collection might be emo.

I will be uploading video and blogging about dissection of rat soon. Don't worry. You'll able to see how wonderful anatomy is. ( OH YES, ROBIN!! Is awesome. ) I laugh when people said EW. disgusted. or like saying we are cruel people walking on the earth. LOL. I love Bernie too but she has to sacrifice. RIP Bernie. Note to Mickey : I ain't a weirdo. Please. LOL

I starting to miss Pn Tan after having this ridiculous lecture system. Oh gosh. I feel like I am wasting my time. Now I have to stay back every thursday for maths extra class, ish, but as long I can listen to Pn. Tan, I ain't complaining. For my studies, my old self is coming back bit by bit. Hopefully, I don't have to fail anything next time and an A for my biology.

Okay, I know you guys are watching. Sometimes I felt like I am blogging to myself because no one stop by and drop their comments and I was kinda shocked when random people said, OH, YOU WROTE THAT IN YOUR BLOG. No, I was freaked out. Damn stalker. People said my blog is so straight forward ( bitchy and sarcastic, don't worry mates, there are a lot of people saying this to me. ) and they actually like it. Maybe they like it when I dare to voice out my opinion and is not ashamed of it.

I am going to write again and this time, it is short and nice. Do check out she's just not that into you. ( will be posted once I finished the story.)

GLEE will be back soon.
MUET night be held on 5/6/10 in SKE Wisma ( Bensong Chiang Lin Yang, please collect your ticket. LOL)

For ex 5 Science 2'08, you can collect your SPM real cert and 1119 cert and your acct cert NOW.

if only

2010-03-29T05:18:00.000-07:00

It's 2 in the morning.
The darkness roams in every inch of his room.
It's quiet. Fairy had ate all the sounds.
Suddenly,
the phone buzz on the table.
He chosen to ignore it as it will goes off sooner or later.
The phone buzz ragingly non-stop, ignoring his master wish.
He gave up. He crawls to his table just near his bed and take his phone up.
"Ruffy calling......"
"Ruffy?" He thought.
Without any hesitation, he picked up the call.
"Hey." Ruffy sounds awful.
"What's up man? Is late night dude." He complained.
"I...I..." Ruffy hesitated.
"Yeah?" He pondered.
"I broke up with her." and then Ruffy paused.
"Where are you now?" He asked.
"Alone, in somewhere dark." Ruffy answered. He could taste his tears.
"Hang on there. I know where you were. I'll be there just a sec." He replied and was rushing out to get his car keys and prepared to drive.
"You know where I am?" Ruffy wondered.
"Dude, do you have any other place to hide and emo? I am coming to get you. Don't worry, okay?" He said.

I wrote this all my friends who having break ups now and then. Just remember that you always have us in your team. Brothers forever and sisters forever too.

chin chun yong

2010-03-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

Mr. Chin, since I did it to Mr. Ng, I think is better to get you covered up too.

This dude, one idiom, don't judge the book by its cover. This cheeky bastard ( yeap! say it with a british accent. ) although appeared non-chalant and cool, he is actually very caring, nice and loyal friend. And, oh, he is so not cool. He pretended to be one. LOL

We met in 2C class too and wasn't that close. ( Again, nerd and jock factor comes in. ) We got really close in 3C and since then, he became my official BFF.

Okay, I gotta stop it right here before he kills me.

ng wee loon

2010-03-26T05:57:00.000-07:00

this solely dedicated to Mr. Ng Wee Loon. Why? Because I had to do it.

Well, in order to tell this guy, I have to rewind back to 5 years ago. When we were 14.
Me and him met in 2C class, I was one of his classmates. Well, back then, I was a nerd, so, I wasn't talking to them and they weren't talking to me. ( Jocks just doesn't mix with nerds, don't they?). In fact, I know Mr. Lim Zi-Han was making fun of me back then. ( Don't denial it. I know how you work, Zi-Han.) So, I always thought of this Mr. Ng as a jerk and an asshole. ( Well, when we were young, we tend to do stupid things)

The following year, fortunately, I was in the same class with him again. Again, not much memories about him other than his sarcastic behavior towards me ( Aha, he still do that.). This is weird. I mean I hang around with this jocks friend of his. Mr. Chin became someone I really trust, Mr. Lim became my BFF and I was in this 'cool' group kind of cliche.

Then, we moved on our lives. We never really like sat and talk or anything else. Maybe some occasionally exchanging sms or msn. But, that's it.

The story starts at Lower Six Orientation Week. Since both of our best friends, Mr. Lim & Mr. Chin depart their own way to search for their dreams, we ended up together and coincidentally, both of us taking Biology. ( Here comes the fun fact : I was preparing to go for physics class because none of my friends were there but Mr. Ng said if I go for biology class, he'll follow me. I guess he's a lifesaver for me. I really hooked up with Biology and I might stand a chance of getting an A in my STPM.) So, we winded up getting closer and closer and he becomes my best friend. ( even better than Mr. Lim but I still miss that fat guy. LOL)

So, to Mr. Ng Wee Loon. Thank you for your presence in my life, you did change my life somehow. I know I might be a pain in the ass sometimes but thank you for sailing with me.
And now, I'll beat you in chemistry as a respect to you. HAHAHAHA.

Don't worry Mr Chin. Yours will be up soon.

shove it in your mouth

2010-03-17T09:26:00.001-07:00

The more you know, the more ugly it gets.
maybe is better you stick your ears with tampons ( okay, i think it goes with the nose ) and stop caring about what happens around you.
some people are just plain mess and hypocrite and manipulative. I don't know why but they seem pretty enjoy how they doing 'things', don't they feel remorse or guilty of what they did? What's wrong with this people? Is not funny, I mean how old are you? 7? I am pretty done with certain people like this. They always go around telling lies and think they fool everyone, but not me. I can tell.

Moving on,
I really like the atmosphere of hanging out with friends even we are studying. I mean we can talk and laugh, I don't mind I am part of the joke, they are my friends, they can make jokes about me ( well, if it wasn't crossing the line but I think they are very careful with that. ) A good friend a day keeps the depression away! XD

Of course,
for all my best friends who been through a tough time now or later ( either I am aware or unaware of )
you can always come to me, I am a good listener ( okay, I do talk but that wasn't the point ), when you need someone just to lean on, or someone to talk or someone to cry with. I am always there for you. I might be not the best but I will do all I could to help you get through this. I am your friend, remember?

take lite.

take lite. BFFs

2010-03-14T01:25:00.000-08:00

here's the pictures taken in CNY with my BFFs.

Let it goes worldwide shall we? Ng Wee Loon. LOL
Three cars speeding up to Krubong.

This is dedicated to Lim Zihan. Envy eh?
Me : Take this!!!!
Chin : Wut?!!!!! ( fall in complete jaw breaking scenario )
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. I am a weirdo.
And he is so girly. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

Wan wan is "Fu" because errr. fa fu. hahaha.
Big head is "Lu" because she is noob.
I am "shou" because I look younger than my age. LOL

Brothers forever. ( Yes, there should be Ng Wee Loon, Lim Zi-Han and Chong Mahn Ling )

Mahjong battle. Wee loon trying to act pro but he is not. Carrie the newbie. I am the pro. ( I won okay. ) and Ah Chin trying to learn my moves.

We are not in sync.

Kedua-dua berpattern-pattern.

I am fat. Ish.

2010-03-13T08:45:00.000-08:00

no more depression.
i want to move out from this.
i don't wanna hurt myself because of others.
is time to protect myself. protect myself. protect myself. protect myself.
don't think too much. don't think too much. don't think too much. don't think too much.
don't care too much. don't care too much. don't care too much. don't care too much.
let those feelings slide through.
they are not important now. put yourself in the priority. you have far greater mission to accomplish.

no more cutting wrist. no more.
no more cutting wrist. no more.
no more cutting wrist. no more.
no more cutting wrist. no more.
no more cutting wrist. no more.

I kinda related to Effy. She got depression and she cut her wrist and she was send to hospital. I don't want that. I kinda see myself in her. Of course, she is way more serious. But she got pills to feed on, she got her mom, she got freddie. I got nothing. I am on my way but I can do it. I will walk out from this depression. I can seal myself. Maybe I need more anti depressant. LOL

skins

2010-03-11T01:53:00.000-08:00

Check back my achieve to know what I am talking about.

Skins is back!!!!!!!
Okay, it was back on January and I watched 6 episodes of it. ( Curse Megavideo video limit. I wanna watch JJ's episode. )

This series is back with more intense drama. Since it is a UK teen drama, you don't expect any of you american stuff here. Skins is hardcore man!! All the main characters do drugs, smoke weeds, practice free sex and there is a lot of nude scenes. ( Of course, you can't see those private parts. ) What makes it interesting, wasn't those scenes, is the dynamic between each characters. These intimacy and intensity makes this series really poop!! I love Emily and Naomi. Their relationship is like bitter and sweet. Of course, they are lesbians ( wohoo!! ) and Naomi cheated on Emily with Sophia ( died because of commit suicidal ) and Naomi selling drugs. Hence, Emily became so aggressive, unlike her past, who is quiet and shy. I love Emily's red head. How can I missed out Katie, Emily's twin. I really hate Katie in Series 3 since she is a big head bitch but after she realized she having a premature menopause and her family is broke, she held herself together and mend the relationship of her family. I love her when she punched a girl right on the face and said "I am Katie fucking Fitch!!" Epicness.

Effy is back and decided that she like Freddie more. They began a relationship and later Effy is shown with depression and she even cut her wrist. Cook saw how bad he used to be and decided to change. ( Awesome emotion when he told his lawyer that the result he became so violence is because everybody always shit on him. ) Thomas slept with a hot girl and Pandora dumped him.

The series is gonna end by just one more episode which center on Naomi.
This show makes me wanna smoke. Argh. Curse them.

2010-03-09T08:45:00.000-08:00

Is almost 1' o clock and I have this sudden urge to blog. Shit.
Tomorrow I still have my biology test and I haven't memorize my Krebs cycle. Shit.

I don't wanna think too much.

Proceed.

great

2010-03-04T05:43:00.000-08:00

Finally I finished my speaking trial test! Yahoo!
I wasn't ready for the test as I am in the last group.
When I was revising my chemistry with Si Mei, Mdm Chow called Cheng Aik ( yes, admit you are the reason we been pushed to group 4 ), he rejected but Mdm Chow insisted.
So, Mdm Chow said " Come!! This topic is very simple. Is about you young people."
I admit, I wanted to do this speaking test before my exam, so I was like rushing forward and took a pen and paper, rushed to the table and get ready.

"Test begins, now."
I asked permission to drink water and others are like racing to writing their notes. Okay, the title is "what is the most serious problem among young people?" A - smoking, B - gangsterism, C - drug abuse, D - stealing.
To be honest, I got the most easy title, drug abuse. So I wrote my bio thing like hallucination, addiction, consequences of sharing needles, intercepting hormones and giving examples. Cheng Aik got the hardest, there is not much about stealing. People just steal, no big deal. I think I did much much better than last time because I was giving a lot of "variety" ( quoted from Mdm Tan ) although I paused and often used "erm" and "ah" during the period when I got stuck. And also, I supposed to say murder but instead I said murderer. Damnit!

Group discussion is the most juicy part. Ah Toh started the conversation, defending his smoking with bombastic points. Jia Ying skipped me and passed the convo to Cheng Aik ( I am starting to wonder if she did it in purpose. XD jk jk ). Cheng Aik supported gangsterism and I started my super canon ( I kinda feel bad for shooting him all over the place. ) I don't really think gangsterism is much worst than drug abuse. C'mon, is drugs man, not candy bar. I had seen people walked out from it, go take that shit again. I shoot Ah Toh for stating everything started with smoking. When you smoke, you'll join gangster. When you smoke, you'll do drugs. OMG. I accidentally told everyone, including teacher, that I smoked once awhile. ( which is not the truth as I only smoked twice in my life which just occurred recently ) and I said "Even if I smoke, that doesn't mean I am not discpline. That doesn't mean I am a gangster. I just tried smoking, nothing more, nothing less."

I wish I have a higher band this time.

Shattered

2010-03-02T05:08:00.000-08:00

Shattered - Trading Yesterday
I found this awesome song in the net. This is a shorter version of the song. The original is like so dragging. Lyrics might be a lil emo. ( Enough to make Munny emo. ). Consider to make a short story out of it.

I noticed that a lot of friends gotta relationship. Aiks. But nevermind, I can find someone I really like sooner, is not like I am desperate right now. But peeps, just be careful okay? Don't let anyone hurt you guys. Either boys or girls, we are just emotional driven humans.

And, exam is coming. Shit. A lot of stuff have to remember. As long I doesn't fail any of the subjects, is okay. LOL.

Happy birthday to Carrie ( 2nd sister of the Duri Dalam Bunga team ) and Joanne Ngow Seow Wei ( My best buddy ever ).

To Chin Chun Yong & Ng Wee Loon : I don't emo already!! LOL!!

19

2010-02-26T20:59:00.000-08:00

Since someone is hyped about this random facts about yourself, I guess I should tag along too with 19.

1. My signature parking style - reverse parking. I just felt that it is easier in that way.
2. I am still using hairdryer from the 80's. Yes. It is true!!
3. My favorite movie is (500) days of summer.
4. I used to have fungus infection on my face and my thigh.
5. I hate people doing that "chuuuu" sounds when calling a waiter, that just total jerk head.
6. I always said thank you with a smile. LOL. ( Almost everytime!! )
7. I used to think that girls can be impregnate with just kisses.
8. My new room is a total buzz of green!!!
9. I am nearly drown in a swimming pool when I am 13 and since then, I never dare to swim again.
10. I love muffins XD
11. I did punch a guy several times until he has bruises. ( I am effing strong! )
12. I think that girls should not be a weaklings and SHOULD NOT always cried for help.
13. My favorite colour is black or white.
14. I broke my jaw ( something like that ) before and now my jaw can flinch. ( It hurts.)
15. I can't drive an auto car. I tend to press brake and accelerator at the same time.
16. I want to be healer than a fighter. ( I just don't like violence. )
17. My favorite manga is Bleach. ( I think you getting this now. )
18. My favorite tv show is GLEE!!
19. I bite straw when I drink.

Gee, I am having a headache when doing this.
Anyway, I went to new Jusco and I thought I lost my car!!! I was freaking out and running like stupid fuck in the parking lot. It turns out that we are at the wrong side of parking lot. Goddamnit!! But, the point is - My baby is still there! Yay!

I found it in Jusco. KY Jelly!!!! Can't believe that sell it here thou. ( For those who are curious abotu KY Jelly, you can always google it. XD )

OMG!!!!!!! Vibrating condom? I think it costs about RM20. I been curious of what it can do. Do we need to put it batteries or something?

bleach collection

2010-02-21T00:13:00.000-08:00

Peeps, this is my bleach collection yo!!!
Thankiu Ah Ma for snapping this picture.

late night

2010-02-20T08:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night, Long Choy called me and asking me whether I wanted to go watch Lighting Thief with them. I agreed.

But then with stupid Wen Chiang masterplan, we ended up buying 12.20am tickets. Sang Tuan was like so emo because he is not allowed to go home that late, and since I am his driver, that means I can't watch it too. After much consideration when we are eating McDonald's, Long Choy, Kin Sum, Sang Tuan and me decided to sell our tickets and off to my house.

Lucky, we managed to sold our tickets to a family but we have to sacrifice one of the tickets because they just need three out of four. And we saw many of my schoolmates aka my gang in the cinema.

They decided to come to my new house and gamble. I fetch Sang Tuan to my old house and giving him a tour. He asked a few questions about my family and stuff and we off to my new house and we met up LC and KS on our way. I bring them all to my house and LC was like "Oh, that is my house coach! Oh that heater is the same in my grandmother house. Oh, that fan is the same in my uncle house." LOL.

We play poker in my house. Halfway through it, we all are exhausted but still, when it comes to money. Everyone is very alerted. Proof.
Don't be fooled. They are arguing about chips. See Sang Tuan talk thrash?
Sang Tuan : This is all mine!!!
Long Choy : Damnit. Sigh.
Still arguing. They tried to formulate out.
Kin Sum butt in and solve the case.

And yes, I won. XD

Soon after that, we decided not to play anymore and talking gossips, like what is happened around you and stuff. LC confronted me with my emo issues ( nobody does that, peopel are afraid of this. Even my best friends chosen to leave me alone. ) I kinda shared my life experience but hold back a little bit. We talk about someone's love issues and then he wanted to go back home. It was fun! I wanted to find more nights like this, then my emo issues will dissolve easily as there is always people listen to your problems and trying to understand you. FYI, I just need a listener but just nobody actually wanna listen even with my best friends ( they just don't ask. I don't know why. )

Ohio!!!

2010-02-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

I went tuai bai with my classmates on wednesday. It was awesome!!
First, we went to Kah Hui's house to wait for Da Jie because she can't come from hometown due to heavy pouring rain.
I dunno what happened but she seems very emo. Yes! Look at the picture above, damn emo right? But this dissolve soon when she gulped down red wine in Marlene's house. She became very noisy and talkative.
Nothing can stop me from Blackjacking. Damn pissed off when Cheng Aik kept on wining.

And then, we off to Mdm.Goh house. We didn't take any picture anyway because we forgot to do so. Mdm Goh introduced her daughters to us. LOL. Well, then they off to my house. Yeappppp, my house!!!
See my car!!! LOL. I even let them go into my room. ( Girls only ) and then they are stunned by the room's colour.

We off to Mdm. Lam house. She has a very cute son.
Mdm. Lam busying serving tea for us.
Group shot without camera-ah ma. Kah Hui pretty sial.
Mdm. Lam giving angpau for our class.
Then, Mdm Chow called Mdm Lam asking about our whereabouts. We are like, okay, we gotta ciao!! And quickly off to Mdm. Chow house.

And then, we discovered that Mdm Chow cooked curry and bihun for us. Damn touched. No wonder she kept ushering us to go to her place.
Really nice man!!!!
Eat! Eat! Eat!
Trying to be cool and chill after eating so much. Saw that chocolate? Yummy!!! And then Marlene noticed there is a boggle set in Mdm Chow house and kept asking us to play. I have to tag along with her. T.T
It started like this.
We caught Juan's attention.
People started to flow in.
People starting to give opinions.
Okay, Ah Mok. I know what you are trying to do. I am not stupid. Please stop snapping picture there is me & her. I lost the boggle anyway.

We off to Chai Yuen's house. Her mum cook a lot of dishes for us. Fu-yoh! Thankiu auntie!!!
I think we finished the dishes. LOL.
Juan & me.
The white group aka The Angels and the black group aka The Devils.
LOL. I am so cute. LOL. Joking joking.

And then we off to Juan's house. I was very tired and so we didn't do anything there.
We went all the way down to Klebang to visit Ah Ma's house. Ah Ma has a very funny mother. So hilarious when we talked to her. LOL.
Kah Hui bullied by Marlene in Ah Ma's house.

At last, we went to Marlene's house which is few blocks away from Ah Ma's house. We gambled there until we stood up and protest!!
And I won! XD.

If you're lucky, I will be blogging about our 5 Sc 2 reunion party and then my gang's tuai bai soon. I just need pictures. Oh, I will blog about late night talks we had in my house with Long Choy, Kin Sum and Sang Tuan soon.

reasons

2010-02-17T08:48:00.000-08:00

First.
I wanna come clear that I AM EMO because of people.
So, chin chun yong, you can stop accusing me of that. That night, errr, I am just thinking about something ( or nothing?).

Finally, someone understood the situation. Why in the hell of me ( the loud bubbly narcissist guy ) wanted to emo?
Factor : Is not me. Is you people. ( Environment just wasn't going to bother me. I am dirtyyyyyy. LOL ) I am not going to elaborate on this. Let just say that I am highly disappointed. You people make me feel like not very important. I am not worth of your time. I am just someone you can hey hey bye bye. I always think that I am not giving enough. But, someone told me, you are giving enough. Since I am giving enough but that doesn't mean others received it. Maybe they just didn't see it? or? I am sick of being a backup. I deserve better than that. Someone of you might opposed that. You are not me. I am not you. You have to live in my life to see my point of view. I been through a lot, seriously. I am not telling it doesn't mean it doesn't happened. I have many things I chosen not to tell anyone. ( or people just don't listen? )

YES, I AM EMO BUT NOT BY MY CHOICE. Please stop talking like I wanted to be one. Thank you.

bleached

2010-02-11T06:47:00.000-08:00

I don't know why Aizen always gunning on Hinamori. First, he made her worships him like a god, and then misleading her to kill Toushiro, and then tried to kill her, and then trying to kill her again ( and she was dying in the hands of Toushiro. ) Why? Why her? She is plenty useless. She is not that strong. Urgh. I pity Hinamori but hell, I think she will die. FYI, she is the most proficient kidou user I ever seen. ( Tessai is a kidou corps captain, so not counted. ) I understand that good guys must die and in Bleach, good guys just won't die and when finally Kubo make a move, he chosen Hinamori. Shit. Hiyori should die, she was chopped into half and yet still healed by Uhohana. And that big dog just hanging on. He should die! His bankai is so inconvenient.

Anyway, Uhohana is getting on fire. She will fight, I think a few chapters later, considering all of the captains was slashed by Aizen. Kubo, please, please make my favorite character to be EPIC!! Ukitate will back soon too, I think he is currently healed by Yamamoto. Kensei will fight off Wonderwises, probably next chapter with his bankai and maybe with Mashiro's shikai.

My favorite zanpaktous :
1) Sode no shirayuki ( Pure white zanpaktou and ice attacks with dances! Too bad Rukia wasn't doing any good with it. It can be awesome! )
2) Tobiume ( Kidou type zanpaktou. Pretty useless as only can fire energy balls but I like it. )
3) Sakanade ( Makes everything inverted. Right to left. Front to back. )
4) Suzumebachi ( Two hit kill. Perfect close combat weapon. )
5) Haguro Tonbo ( I forgot the spelling but it sounds like this. The top with blade and the bottom with a steel ball for crushing purpose. )

My favorite characters :
1) Retsu Uhohana ( One of the most old captain ever existed. Motherly figure and a high level healer. Smart and serious. )
2) Orihime Inoue ( A cute girl with big boobs. Have a really good weapon but she failed to kill anybody with it. Hate her when she cannot stand up to her own and just relying on others to help her. )
3) Lisa Yadomaro ( A pervert girl with high speed movement.)
4) Stark ( Lazy but strong. I love the the theme of lonely wolf. )
5) Shinji ( Funny but serious when in business. )

da di hui chun

2010-02-09T07:18:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhhh, CNY is coming. I can hear it baybeh! Woo hoo. I been busy these few weeks. Oh my god, so a lot have to be done. Shit. I haven't clean my house. I haven't do any decoration. I haven't wash my car. Awh! Hard life.

This CNY will be the most happiest year ever for me because a lot of them are coming to my house. Yay! ( Erm, I think none of my friends come to my house. Yeap. None!! LOL ) My classmates are coming, my buddies are coming. Yeapsie! I bought Sandy for ya all with my own money k!!! Make sure you all must come. And there is a lot going on this CNY, I will be on a CNY tour with my classmates to visit our teachers, there will be a Sc2 Reunion BBQ, there will be buddies hanging out. Sweet!! Yee ping is back! Hey hey hey.

Shit. How to celebrate Valentine's Day? Fuck Valentine. I genuinely ask all couples to be out of sight. It irritates me. I will fucking slap you people if you felt your two affection is too much for me. ( LOL. Don't take it seriously. )

Jump!

emo

2010-02-06T19:02:00.000-08:00

Last week.
Not so great. Something happened.
I don't know what should I describe it. Let's just said I have woke up from my dream.
And knowing my best friends are supporting me, I felt relieve.
Most of the time, I need a listener, not a solution. I actually knew how to solve it but choose to hide it behind my conscience.

You guys don't emo k? Don't follow my footsteps. Drench into the emo world is like losing part of yourself to the dark side. Some people came out alive but some just gotten worst. Emo is part of the pre stage of depression, I think mine is gotten serious when time pass by. Somehow, I started to over think in a situation, I began to hallucinate, adding my own perceptive and gotten more emotion unstable. I can angry and then sober and then back to normal in just one short minute.

And then,
wish you guys have an awesome week.

2010-02-05T03:04:00.001-08:00

Here is the list I am going to do in CNY

1. Visit Ah Chin house!!! Even it came without invitation, I still wanna go. Chin Chun Yong, I give a lot of face!!!

2. Visit Mdm Lam, Mdm Goh and Mdn Chow houses!!! with my sweet classmates!

3. GBS 5 Sc 2 BBQ!!!

4. Go Arena/Pure with Cheng Aik, Da Jie, Yu Pa, Chee Wei, Wawa, Chia Chun and Juan juan.

5. Whack Shaun for ditching me a lot of times!

6. Ask Wee Loon give me big big angpau!!

Crossing my fingers!!

Oh, by the way, FT, you fucking arrogant money worshipper, you should feel shame all over your body cells. How dare you!!!
We : Teacher, where is your house? We wanna go visit you in CNY.
FT : You all wanna come ah?
We : Yea.
FT : *grins* Kampung Lapan lor
We : Kampung Lapan where?
FT : Behind Gold Star Hotel
We : Walao, that side very big leh.
FT : *grins* I got no money, I rented a house.
We : speechless....
FT, don't jia jia with me lar. Motherfucker. If you don't wanna let us come, then say you're busy or something. Even I agreed to go to your house, considering that I hate you with all my brain cells. WTF man!!!! You know what, in tuition, he said : "Eh, you all new year can come to my house ah!" See!! SEE!!!!! Money face!!! I feel like wanna sumbat his mouth and cover his face with money and ask him to treat us like a student.

paper talking part uno

2010-02-01T06:46:00.000-08:00

Our class starts to began a new trend right now.
That is writing what troubles you can you pass it around to ask our classmates to give advises on this.
Ah Mok started it first ( You can actually see the result in her blog. She puts up her pie chart!! LOL)
And then follow by everyone, including me.

This question is interesting but it wasn't asked by me. I repeat, NOT ME!!!

Q : If someone among your friends is homosexual, will you discriminate them or you will genuinely wish them well?

Wish them well
Me : Of course not. Love is not bounded by races, age and genders. LOL. But I am normal lar. LOL
Chia : No, I won't discriminate. It is none of my business. ( WOW!!! )
Sebastian : No lar. It's a free country. Haha.
Bell : I won't discriminate myself. ( Ah Ma : You are one of them meh? )
Khang : No but just don't do it in public.
Yuen : No but just don't do it in public.
Mok : I won't discriminate, I will wish them well. We are friends right? Discriminate your friends is a NONO. It is actually none of our concern, why bother? why discriminate?
Hyingz : No, just be yourself and understand what are you doing. I will support any decisions you make.
Chui Shan : No, but just don't come and bother me and my bf.
Kah Hui : No. I will wish them well. Thats what friends for.
Angeline : I won't discriminate, they are also hoping others to welcome them.
Siew Ling : This is personal freedom, as long it wasn't a live show. I can.
Princess Juan : No, as long it doesn't irritate my eyes.

On the verge of both worlds
Shin Yi : If asexual reproduction exists, there is homosexual. This is personal freedom, I won't agree or disagree.
Cheng Aik: Too gay or les I will discriminate. Please don't be too sexual in public. Disgusting.

Discrimination
Toh : I think I will run away. Is this discriminate?
Ah Ma : A little bit, yea.

Here comes the man, Ho Chia Chun. Jeng jeng jeng!!!!!!!!
A little bit, probably they grabbed all the hot girls and left some ugly betty for us!!!
( Agreed by me and Cheng Aik -- Most lesbian has a hotttttttt other half. Really!!!! )

Oh well, these are days we laugh out loud.
Part two coming soon.

my nephew is a rockstar

2010-01-31T00:04:00.000-08:00

I never mentioned my nephew to you before?
No worries. I am doing it now.
My second nephew is 3 years old. ( The elder is 5 and my niece is 4 )
It wasn't my biological bro & sis 's son. He is belong to my cousin.
His name is Jasper. Yea, remember the kid ghost? twilight fans, here is your Jasper!! LOL!!
He is a very fuzzy kid, I mean very fuzzy. But he is so freaking cute.
Here's something he did.

Me : "lalalalala.." (singing)
Jasper : "You cannot talk so much!!!" or "You cannot sing!!" and then slaps me.

Me : "I beat you!!!!"
Jasper : "I don't want!!" and then running away.

Jasper : "I call dog dog bite you!!!"
Me : "I call Barney bite you ah!!"

Cousin : "Jasper, eat shit."
Jasper : "Nonono, Jasper eats rice."

And so many other funny things. Not to mention, he is a smart kid. He is the first one to be taught in english, we all communicate with him with english, that's why he is so pro ( although it is broken english but compare to my younger days, he is a pro. )

here is some funny picture we took

Dai Lou!!!

Ish, I am so disgusting.

Wahhh, he wants to kiss me. LOL

Camwhore is back!!!

And this was taken when I am having lunch in Golden Triangle with Yong, Yek Lik and Puppy aka Sang Tuan with the puppy eyes.

I look like I am dying. Ish. And FYI, out stupid school has decided that white spec is too cool for school and they decided to ban it. WTF!!! Stupid HM!!! What the hell is wrong with white spec!!! And why me?!! I don't care, I ain't going to make a new one, I mean it is expensive okay!! Not many people can afford to buy a new one!!! Curse!!!

Mr Yau : "Wong Yau Xiang, wahhhhh, your spec very FANCY wor!!!!"
Me : "No lar, sir. Where got fancy."
Pn Lai coming out from the room,
"Faster go and make a new one. Wait kena rampas then you know." in a polite way.

I am getting more pissed off with GBS. Inhumane. Treat us Form 6 like a ball. Kick us hard, kick us here and there!!! And that Pig keep scolding us for nothing, say things like "we teachers will try to help you all." or "behave like a Form Six" etc etc but he never did!! He makes us suffer and for god sake's what is the criteria to be a Form Six? To be obey yours stupid rules and constantly makes you happy? No man!! We are adults and we do whatever we feel is right, you ain't going to judge us, even we make mistakes, we learn from it, we are not some 16-ish kid that going to end up in gangsterism.

And, one thing is good to be a Form Six is ---- CAN COMPLAIN A LOT!!!
We complain to teachers
We complain to Mr.Chin
We complain anything we don't like
We complain anything that is spoiled and ask for a repair.
And the school still owns us a whiteboard!!

tidal waves

2010-01-29T05:37:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me this
"Why you don't have a girlfriend?"
I was like "Because I am not well liked?" and laugh it off.
"You know there is someone out there, you just need to try and take her in."
"But I don't like her, in a romantic way."
"Why are you so sure?"
"Because I can feel it. She just not THE girl."

AND

Someone popped up in my msn chat box. She is relative of one of my friend.
"Hey, do you like XXX?"
"Errr, no. lol. Why?"
"Why you don't like her? Is she not good enough?"
"No, not that."
"Then?"
"She is good but she just not my cup of tea."
"Awww. Really?"
"Sorry but yea."
"Oh, I wish you can join in the family. LOL."
"LOL. What? Why?"
"Because idk, I feel like you're awesome. Ha!"

Two weird conversations and no, if you think I made up this just to impress you guys, then you guys can kiss your ass goodbye. ( Of course, some words have to alter to cover up the identity. )

keep holding on

2010-01-28T05:47:00.000-08:00

Our practice is awesome!!
Everyone sings, although is not very loud, I am glad that everyone willing to put things behind and 'waffle' away.
We even think of making our grand entrance for our performance.
I am sorry for Bio 2 as we interrupted their lesson but nevermind, you guys get to hear our first practice.

Anyway,
Thanks for Chia Chia making CNY wishes for us and I already put up a Twitter board for it.

I miss Lim Zi Han. LOL

a depressed knight is called night

2010-01-27T07:43:00.000-08:00

I have to admit,
I am not very happy these days.

Not to an extent of being emo, but just disappointed on people and myself.
Am I expecting too much? I ponder...
But, I am glad to have some best friends to share my pain. They would come to me and ask me what happened rather than I go for them. But for someone, even I go for his advice and consolation, he just couldn't be bother. Is it a technical problem or ?? But, I don't really want to find out.

Thanks alfred for a wake up speech, I never expected to see so much of me. LOL.
I thought I hide it perfectly well.

And,
I miss you too, Shaun!! Come to my house study again, then I will be more concentrate on my studies. Is good to have company.

please stop pelting my heart

2010-01-23T23:07:00.000-08:00

I went out with my best friends yesterday for study purpose.
We studied till 8.30 ( I was tutoring Wee Loon on photosynthesis but I noticed some details I missed when I studied it last time ) while Ah Chin preparing his acct exam for his tuition.
We off to have dinner together, circling the whole Melaka Town for an hour and settle down in Amigo ( We are planning not to have dinner there but ... )

It turns out that Ah Chin really knows me. Ha!

Anyway, school is busy as well. I was stressing out and erm, the thought of dying flashs to my brain. Oh well, I think I have mild depression. I even starting to thought of cutting my wrist, but, no. I am not that serious yet. Stress me, then I will. LOL.

I hate my phone camera. Reason? See the difference!

Hope you guys enjoy your day.

revoke the darkness

2010-01-20T06:29:00.001-08:00

I did something really bad today.
Maybe I was under stress, or
maybe it just me.
I scolded my friend indirectly. I forgot that she has assigned a job from me and I snapped when she refused to help me. I am deeply sorry for what I said.
I am always aware of my bad habit but yet I can't do anything about it. Is kinda frustrated when you know it but yet you can't change it. The devil lives inside my soul and he deposited his evil thoughts. Ah!!

Well, things got dissolved after I apologize. I will try to control myself as far as I could. I am pretty vulnerable when I am around my best friends because I usually lower down my barrier and let things roll. I think Wee Loon bears most of my insanity. LOL. Joanne and Ah Chin usually shoot me back while Zi Han usually tolerates with me and Shaun took my sarcasm quietly.

Anyway,
our class received a CNY card today by Bio 2. I generally thought that something but the truth unveils itself, well, the truth is always ugly isn't it? Thanks Wee Loon mentioning my name inside. Ha!

I am thinking off wearing my con for the rest of the Feb since I still have a pair of unused con and I have to use it before it expires. ( since I switched to daily con that lasted for a day, I don't really wear the old one. )

Condolence for the victims family.
Having the one who you love, go without a wind. You can only feel the pain, numbness and tears.
I have been through that, a person that is so important in your life, gone. The pain is almost unbearable, so painful that you can find yourself woke up in tears. You will never forget their existence, as you kept reminding all those good deeds they have done to you. You smile when someone talked about how great they are when they are alive, and you appreciate their presence in your life. Maybe, just maybe, they have escaped from all the sorrow & pain being a human and off to a better place. This world isn't so great after all, full of selfishness and corrupted human being. So, the three guys that shared my last name, is really nice to know there is a lot of "the goat with feathery wings." out there doing something great, perhaps, I should do something too. Rest in peace, my friends.

dare to be different

2010-01-19T07:19:00.000-08:00

Well, today is a fun day.
I made our class name tag by using leftover manila cards.
Actually, I was only making it to myself, kah hui and hui ying but later Da Jie asked me to do for everyone. So, I was happily doing it in chemistry period where I can escape myself from hell. After I accomplished it, I distributed to everyone and everyone stick it on their table, I mean everyone!!! So touched man!! Finally, someone understand my art. LOL.

I also did a motto for our class - Dare to be different and everyone is like wow, that is nice! So it will be featured in our class magazine or even appeared in the cover! Oh, I even made this banner and we will have our photograph session on thursday. Yeah!

Not to mention, we are throwing papers like we used to in kindergarten. I started it and they kept throwing back. We are playing it while Pn.Tan was teaching in front of the class. We also making fun of Fa Si like usual and laugh like stupid.

Dare to be different yo!!

Oh, ex GBS 5 Sc 2'08 listen up!!! We are going to have a BBQ on Tmn Asean on the fourth day of CNY ( Wednesday ). It is organized by our dear assistant monitor - Hai Ling, any questions you can refer to her. Oh, we will have a Sc 2 shirt after all. ( Remember we planning to do with our hand prints? I still wondering why it didn't work out. ). Anyone who loves to express their inner artistic talent can start drawing now and tell Hai Ling. ( Errr, only refer to Sc 2 only. )